Sunday, July 25, 2010

Child Support

What is child support supposed to cover? It is supposed to cover the expenses associated with raising a child, such as food, clothing, housing, household bills such as electrical, water, gas bill, etc. This is how most states write their laws, including the state that I live in. It requires a lot of trust for a man to just sign over the money to the ex-wife to trust that the money he is paying is going to be spent on his children as there is no mandate in the law that he gets any accountability as to how the money is spent.

In most cases, however, the child support money doesn't even come close to covering the expenses associated with raising the children. If I were to rely on only the money sent to me, I would end up homeless and declaring bankruptcy because I cannot even afford to buy a decent amount of clothes for them. I rarely treat me and the kids to dinner (what a luxury)  I take my kids out to a movie about every 3 months, and that is usually the dollar movie as that is all I can afford.

the ex, on the other hand, complains bitterly about how much money he pays in child support. He tells me and others that it is close to half his income (it isn't even close), that it is breaking him, (he is even how investing in 2 rental homes). He goes out to a movie and dinner every weekend and drives a new Toyota SVU. He has been to Hawaii, California, Utah and Africa in the last 3 years on vacations. He has also spent well over $30,000 in legal fees suing me over the last 3 years. Hardly sounds like someone who is suffering financially. I don't care how much money he has or how he spends it, except that he keeps suing me and tells my children that I am NOT spending the child support money on them.

This makes me angry like nobodies business! In the first place, how would he know? I do not make an accounting to him on how I spend the money as I do not communicate with him. In the second place, I live below the poverty line:
I could in no way support my children on what I make at my job. I must, in fact, send the ex a copy of my tax return each year. He knows how little I make in my job. I cannot pay my regular, everyday bills without child support! For him to then go and tell my children I am not spending any of the child support money on them makes me angry all over again! My children have a roof over their heads. They have food, clothes, their electrical bill has never been turned off. They have running water. When their cars break down I pay for repairs. I pay car insurance and a cell phone bill. What the hell have I NOT provided for my children???!!!

It makes me angry that I must spend part of my precious, hard-earned money each and every year defending myself from his frivolous lawsuits, and that I have had to continue to do so for the last 3 years. I would have more money to spend on him if he would stop suing me. His children are thriving. They are secure. That ought to be enough for him. It is time to get over the anger, to accept that I am a responsible adult. I manage money well- Hell I always have, I do very well on the little that I have. The kids are fine. Get over yourself. Move On!

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