Agency and Morality

I wonder and I wonder at the concept of agency...

What does it mean to choose? Are we free to choose or are we punished if we make a choice that is counter to the *right* choice?  According to the Mormon church, there is ONLY one choice, to do what they tell you:

"When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done. When they propose a plan--it is God's Plan. When they point the way, there is no other which is safe. When they give directions, it should mark the end of controversy, God works in no other way. To think otherwise, without immediate repentance, may cost one his faith, may destroy his testimony, and leave him a stranger to the kingdom of God."
Ward Teachers Message, Deseret News, Church Section p. 5, May 26, 1945
Also included in the Improvement Era, June 1945 (which was the official church magazine before the Ensign)

"Always keep your eye on the President of the church, and if he ever tells you to do anything, even if it is wrong, and you do it, the lord will bless you for it but you don't need to worry. The lord will never let his mouthpiece lead the people astray."
LDS President Marion G. Romney (of the first presidency), quoting LDS President (and prophet) Heber J. Grant "Conference Report" Oct. 1960 p. 78

"When the Prophet speaks the debate is over".
N. Eldon Tanner, August Ensign 1979, pages 2-3

"Follow your leaders who have been duly ordained and have been publicly sustained, and you will not be led astray."
Boyd K. Packer (General Conference, Oct. 1992; Ensign, Nov. 1992)

Yes, from the times of Brigham Young: "The Lord Almighty leads this Church, and he will never suffer you to be led astray if you are found doing your duty. You may go home and sleep as sweetly as a babe in its mother's arms, as to any danger of your leaders leading you astray, for if they should try to do so the Lord would quickly sweep them from the earth."

Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 9, p. 289, 1862.

To today, the leaders of the Mormon church have claimed that they speak for god  and will not lead us astray. There have been recent developments that have led many people to have a crisis of faith and to attempt to stem this, the leaders are once again telling the people to not trust in their own moral compass, but to trust in the leaders of the church. In the most recent Ensign article, the  LDS leaders want you to trust them even when they have lied to you 

I left the Mormon church BEFORE I knew that Joseph Smith took other men's wives from them (the church calls this polyandry, but since polygamy and all its various forms was illegal at the time, then these marriages were illegal so he was in fact just engaging in adultery. He also lied to Emma, his only legal wife. He also used manipulation to gain access to girls as young as 14 years old.  Link to LDS acknowledgments ) 

I left because it isn't right to discriminate against people because their skin color is different than my own.
I left because it isn't right to discriminate against people because their sexuality is different than my own.
I left because it isn't right to discriminate against people because their gender is different than yours.
I left because it isn't right to pursue the impossible idea of perfection at the cost of being your best. I left because my moral compass compelled me to leave.

Why did I leave the Mormon church? I left because I could not trust priesthood authority over my own thoughts/feelings/intuition/spirituality.

Too many times the priesthood authority said what was right contradicted my moral compass and in the end, I must follow my own moral compass.

The Power of Cognitive Dissonance

Can you ever imagine yourself defending something you despise? 

Would you defend adultery? 

Would you defend using manipulation to take another man's wife?

Would you defend coercion to get teenage girls to marry you?

Would you defend lying to your wife in order to take new wives?

I have been astonished for the last few weeks as the new Mormon church articles have come out on polygamy and I have watched good Mormons who are usually moral people defend these types of actions in Joseph Smith.

When I was a believing Mormon, my believing Mormon friends and I would have many discussions on polygamy and I remember those discussions well. We didn't like it, we were offended by it. We hated D&C 132 that stated we would all live it in the Celestial Kingdom. Of all the things taught in the Mormon church, it was this doctrine that disturbed us the most. We despised the doctrine of polygamy.

Now, the Mormons who are defending it are coming out of the wood work. They not only defend it, but defend it in gory details none of us knew about growing up, such as taking teenage brides, lying to Emma and taking wives behind her back, and marrying women who were married to other men at the time. Joseph would also use strong arm tactics and manipulation to gain access to these women. Since this has all been verified through LDS.org and I love this article, I will only link to the sources as there is no reason to repeat it all again here.

None of  this is moral or can be justified, either by today's standards or standards from 200 years ago or 1,000 years ago. This is why; if God is in charge of his church and god is the same yesterday, today and forever, and these things are immoral today, then they were also immoral 150 years ago. If God would not tolerate Warren Jeffs taking child brides today, then he would not tolerate Joseph Smith doing it, nor would he tolerate Muhammad taking a nine year old bride in 600.  Immoral is immoral, no matter what generation.

So, my question is this...what leads good people to defend immoral behavior? Could it be cognitive dissonance?  

Cognitive dissonance is being in a mental state of having conflicting beliefs, behaviors or attitudes.When confronted with information that conflicts with their current state, they seeks to balance it. The more extreme the conflict is, the more the discomfort and people desire a state of equilibrium and will work to achieve this state, so they must change their beliefs, values, behavior or reject the new information.

With the acknowledgement that Joseph Smith practiced polygamy and in such an immoral way has come out, it has put Mormons in a state of cognitive dissonance. They must now find a way to rectify that. How can the church, the Book of Mormon and the prophet they have been told all their lives be god's true church, while also being immoral?  The only way they can rectify these two opposing states of mind is to embrace polygamy where they never did before. To reject polygamy is to reject their esteemed prophet and ultimately the church and everything they have come to believe is true.

It is a crisis of faith they did not expect and are not ready for.

I say if they are going to defend polygamy with such force, they need to embrace it fully and live the principle once again...let go of the cognitive dissonance once and for all and just live it!

"What a thing it is for a man to be accused of committing adultery, and having seven wives, when I can only find one. I am the same man, and as innocent as I was fourteen years ago [when charged with polygamy shortly after his marriage to Emma Hale]; and I can prove them all perjurers. (LDS History of the Church 6:410–411)"

Joseph Smith, perjuring himself 1844

If you are a believing Mormon or a former Mormon, how many details of polygamy did you know about as a Mormon? Take this quiz and find out:

Survey on Joseph Smith's polygamy

Works vs. Morals

I had a Mormon take me on, on my Facebook page. It was the typical tripe I've become used to from Mormons....all problems can be solved by praying, paying tithing, attending the temple. If a person does these things, God will bless them, if a person fails to do these things, God will instill horrible consequences and in my case, I had a case of writers block...

You heard me...God was giving me a case of writer's block because I haven't paid tithing or attended the
Mormon church in 10 years. I'm trying to think of something that sounds more ridiculous, but I'm have a hard time.

As the conversation with this Mormon continued, he repeatedly said that he couldn't comprehend people living without Mormon Jesus in their life and how did I even make decisions or find happiness. I repeatedly told him that God didn't make me a moral person, I was born moral.

As I thought about this concept, it occurred to me that many Mormons grow up being so busy doing their works to get into heaven, they have confused works with morality. Morals consists of being honest, kind, loving, caring, having empathy, respecting life and the choices of others.

Works that get a Mormon into heaven include paying tithing, attending church and the temple, serving the church through a church calling, doing home teaching. It occurred to me that all this busy work is considered morality by Mormons. A good Mormon is one who does the busy work, not necessarily the Moral work. Mormons are asked about their busy work in order to get into the temple and therefore heaven, but they are not asked about how moral they are.

The world is full of  people who are moral, yet they do not fill their lives with the busy work of being a Mormon. Since Mormons have defined morality by doing busy work, they do not view the world as moral.

The question remains, how am I a moral person without the Mormon church? Easy, I have time to be kind because I'm not busy preparing a lesson. I have time to serve the local community because I'm not busy with only my church calling. I have time to spend loving time with my family because I'm not busy spending 2 hours in the temple.

I don't need busy work to be Moral.

No more subjugating!

Jimmy Carter recently announced his departure from his long held religious organization due to its treatment of women.  He, like so many of us, tried to bring change from within, but found its leaders entrenched in dogma and traditions counter to the health of equality, unconditional love and fairness.

When it is impossible to bring change from within an organization and a person finds their morals, values, dignity and ideals being compromised by staying, then the only choice is to leave.  I understand this only too well.

Here is a quote from Jimmy Carter:
The truth is that male religious leaders have had -- and still have -- an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter. Their continuing choice provides the foundation or justification for much of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world. http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/07/20/jimmy-carter-leaves-church-over-treatment-of-women/

I hope more people, from all religious groups that subjugate women; stand up and leave. It is the only way to let them know that we are mad as hell and aren't going to take it anymore!

Perception

When I was a child, I was put in a program where a college student worked with me once a week. I don't know why I was put in this program or what the purpose was. I was very shy, I suppose she was supposed to help me with my shyness, I don't know; this isn't really the point.

One day, she took me to her apartment and fixed me some Tang. I didn't know what Tang was, I only knew that I had never tasted it before since my Mom never bought it for our family.  I had somehow gotten the impression that if my Mom didn't buy it for our family, it was bad and wrong. I told the college student I couldn't drink it because it was bad for me.  She was incredulous and asked what was bad about it. I couldn't tell, her, only that my Mom never bought it.

I realize now, that I had put it in the same category as tea and coffee and cigarettes and alcohol. Why? Because of the mind of a child; if my family didn't consume it, it must be bad for you. I  perceived it as bad because it wasn't in our home.

I grew up in a church that taught me that drinking tea and coffee and wine is bad for you.  They placed a value on it that I accepted because they told me to.  Even when I would read things in the news that contradicted what I was told, my perceptions didn't change.

Then one day, I grew up and decided that I was capable of changing my perceptions. As I opened my mind to different perceptions, I read and studied and learned that it was okay to value things differently than what I was taught as a child.

I changed my perceptions.
I was told by those in my former religion that I was a sinner.
I told them no, I had only changed my perceptions.

Forgiveness vs Morally right

What is moral?
What is legal?
What is ethical?
Why are lay leaders being held to a different standard than paid ones?
Think their stories are rare? Think again:

http://www.kpho.com/video?clipId=6498601&autostart=true

http://www.amazon.com/Sins-Brother-Curtis-Betrayal-Conviction/dp/B005CDUPXC/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1322369618&sr=1-1

http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Mormon-Church-sued-in-Dublins-High-Court-by-abuse-victim-of-US-missionary-134741433.html