Tuesday, May 29, 2012


I was just thinking about the mormon scriptures in the end of the book, there is a promise in Moroni 10:3-4 it reads:

 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how amerciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and bponder it in your chearts.
 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would aask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not btrue; and if ye shall ask with a csincere heart, with dreal intent, having efaith in Christ, he will fmanifest the gtruthof it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

What I was taught my entire life is to ask if those things in the BofM and the church are true and of god; however, a close reading of verse 4 does NOT say that....read it again; read it carefully. It says, "ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are NOT  true;"

I was not taught to ask if they were NOT true, but the opposite, if there WERE true.
Damn~ now I have to go back and re-ask if they are NOT true ::sarcasm::

Just a thought, be sure you know what you are to pray for....

Sunday, May 20, 2012


This is my take on Evolution:

Things change.

In order for a species to survive, it must change or adapt to its environment to survive.  A species that is resistant to change will not survive.

A species that has adapted to its environment is better able to survive.  Dawrin shows this in: Adaptation is the process that makes organisms better suited to their habitat.[153][154] Also, the term adaptation may refer to a trait that is important for an organism's survival. For example, the adaptation of horses' teeth to the grinding of grass. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution

If a person becomes rigid in their thoughts or actions, then they are not able to accept change.  If they are not able to accept change, they are not able to adapt to survive.

When I was confronted with new information about the mormon church, I had to either accept it, or adapt to it, or become rigid and not accept it.

As I have often contemplated why I was able to eventually accept this new information and adapt to it, act on it, and leave the mormon church, I have wondered why so many others, when given this same information are not able to make the same changes in their lives.

Even though making changes in my life meant a great deal of anxiety, heartache and pain, I was able to adapt to the changes necessary.

I have come to believe that it is this fundamental idea that has helped me accept and change my circumstances and others have not.

I have the genetic ability to adapt and change, and others lack this ability to do so.

This is my working hypothesis and I'm sticking to it.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

The Irony

From the time I was a teenager, I have been curious about learning all things mormon. There were two things that troubled me. I didn't understand the mysteries contained in the Bible; and the temple. I became obsessed with understanding.  I felt that my eternal salvation depended on understanding the symbolism in the temple and the Bible, especially the book of Revelation.

As a teen, I even read parts of a book called Mormonism and Masonry. I didn't really understand it, however, since I hadn't been through the temple and I didn't understand what Masonry was, at the time.

I obsessed about going through the temple, wanting all things that god had to offer.  After going through, I wanted nothing more to do with it, thinking it bizarre and cult like.  I didn't understand it.  I was told that I wasn't *worthy* enough to understand all of its symbolism.  I was told that, 'all would be revealed upon my righteousness.' I then tried to live in a way to make me worthy.

I studied the scriptures voraciously.  I read the bible, the BofM, the PofGP, multiple times. I read commentaries on all of them.  I found stuff on the internet.  I found stuff written by other religions.  I attended other religions, hoping that all knowledge would open my eyes. I spent hundreds of dollars on books to help my understanding.

 I tried to live the most righteous life I possibly could. I accepted each calling, even when these callings didn't fall in line with what my patriarchal blessing said these callings should be (my blessing said I would be a leader of other women, that I would rise to great heights of leadership; few of the callings I received, however fit into this category).  I questioned everything.  I researched, I studied, I prayed, I did all these things in an effort to understand the mystery of the temple and the Book of Revelation.

I believed the mormon scriptures that said that all knowledge is of god, that if we seek after good things, it was a good thing.  The more I searched, the more confused I was.  I found out that the way the Bible was put together was not how I was taught in church.  It was very fascinating, but not necessarily inspired by god.  I found out that the Greek and Roman and previous gods that were worshiped by other nations had a great influence on the Jews and eventually the religion that became the Christians. I discovered that there were many, many books that could have been included in the Bible.  I found out the books in the NT were not written by the men that carry their names.  The most recent research on the Book of Revelation is the most fascinating.  Its author concludes that it wasn't meant to be an end-of-days book about our time, but a political commentary about the Roman government and about the time period it was written in.  Of course, this only makes sense, once a person is able to step back and be objective.    http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2012/03/05/120305crbo_books_gopnik?currentPage=all   Elaine Pagel, The Book of Revelation

I found out that Joseph Smith and nearly all of the early leaders in the mormon church were Masons. I found out that all the symbols on the Nauvoo and Salt Lake Temple are not religious symbols, but Masonic symbols. I didn't need to look at anti- sources for this, but to mormon sources:

The History of the Church records Smith's entrance into the Masonic lodge in 1842:
"Tuesday, 15.—I officiated as grand chaplain at the installation of the Nauvoo Lodge of Free Masons, at the Grove near the Temple. Grand Master Jonas, of Columbus, being present, a large number of people assembled on the occasion. The day was exceedingly fine; all things were done in order, and universal satisfaction was manifested. In the evening I received the first degree in Free Masonry in the Nauvoo Lodge, assembled in my general business office." (History of the Church, by Joseph Smith, Deseret Book, 1978, Vol.4, Ch.32, p.550-1)
The next day Smith recorded:
"Wednesday, March 16.—I was with the Masonic Lodge and rose to the sublime degree." (History of the Church, Vol.4, Ch.32, p.552)
The Mormon involvement in Freemasonry reached its heights during the early 1840's in Nauvoo. In the Encyclopedia of Mormonism we read:
"The introduction of Freemasonry in NAUVOO had both political and religious implications....Eventually nearly 1,500 LDS men became associated with Illinois Freemasonry, including many members of the Church's governing priesthood bodies—this at a time when the total number of non-LDS Masons in Illinois lodges barely reached 150." (Encyclopedia of Mormonism, vol.2, p.527)

I learned that the Kirkland temple was vastly different in design, worship and openness than the Nauvoo temple.  Why?  This is a question that will never be answered by mormon leadership.  Why? Because it means opening up dirty little secrets like polygamy:  http://www.i4m.com/think/temples/temple_legacy.htm

I learned that I was lied to.  God doesn't have secret handshakes to get us into heaven.  God doesn't require women to cover their faces to pray.  God doesn't require men to take women's hands to get women into heaven.  God doesn't require polygamy to get into heaven.  God doesn't require women to submit to men. God doesn't have an end-of-day plan written in secret-hard-to-interpret writings.

The irony:  My quest to seek further knowledge, wisdom, truth and spirituality lead me out of the mormon church. Only by leaving, did I find the truth.