Belief

I don't run into many of my former mormon friends in stores any more, but I used to.  It was uncomfortable because the only questions they would ask is what ward (congregation) I belong to; what church calling I hold (what volunteer work I do in within the church); how is my husband (whom I am divorced from).  I do have a few mormon friends on fb and no matter how many photos I post of me in tank tops (a big no no to show shoulders because for some odd reason, shoulders have become sexual or offensive or vulgar), or how many articles I post about alcohol ( mormons think drinking alcohol and tea and coffee is a sin), my mormon friends cannot grasp the concept that someone can leave the mormon church and so they continue to ask about what my life is like within the mormon church. Sigh.

I was taught my entire mormon life that people only leave because they are offended by something or someone or because they are sinners and do not repent.  I believed this and repeated this diatribe and now this is one of my greatest regrets as I have come to realize it is false.

I have attempted multiple times to explain to mormons that I left because I stopped believing that their leaders speak to a god that hates black people then changes his mind and loves them.  I stopped believing that their leaders should rule in fear and shame.  I stopped believing that people should receive church discipline for having a crisis of faith. I stopped believing in a church that punishes a woman who divorces a man for leaving an abusive husband. I stopped believing that women should be submissive to men. I stopped believing in the patriarchal order.  I stopped believing that god will punish people for not giving tithing to an organization that builds malls instead of water wells.  I stopped believing in a god that makes people gay and then punishes those same people and tells their family to shun them. I stopped believing in a god that helps people find their keys so they will be on time for church yet does not stop an earthquake from killing thousands.

I stopped telling mormons why I left because they believe that all people are supposed to be mormon, all people are supposed to conform to its beliefs, all people are supposed to accept it someday (that is why they do baptisms for the dead).  How do you rationalize with beliefs like that?

No more subjugating!

Jimmy Carter recently announced his departure from his long held religious organization due to its treatment of women.  He, like so many of us, tried to bring change from within, but found its leaders entrenched in dogma and traditions counter to the health of equality, unconditional love and fairness.

When it is impossible to bring change from within an organization and a person finds their morals, values, dignity and ideals being compromised by staying, then the only choice is to leave.  I understand this only too well.

Here is a quote from Jimmy Carter:
The truth is that male religious leaders have had -- and still have -- an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter. Their continuing choice provides the foundation or justification for much of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world. http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/07/20/jimmy-carter-leaves-church-over-treatment-of-women/

I hope more people, from all religious groups that subjugate women; stand up and leave. It is the only way to let them know that we are mad as hell and aren't going to take it anymore!

Fallacy: Separate but Equal

I have many regrets. One of the biggest is that I bought into the Morg's idea of separate but equal. I am an advocate for women, yet when that church taught that women should be treated differently than men it didn't mean they were not equal to men, but separate. They separate women from men in the temple, in church.

 In the temple they make the women bow their heads and promise to obey their husbands. In the temple they make the women pull a veil over their faces to cover their faces before they can say a prayer to god. They teach that women should be separated out in the home by doing women's work of raising the children, cleaning the home and not working with men in the world. http://lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,FF.html . They begin this separation at the age of 12.They have the teen boys going out on hiking trips, water skiing, camping, basketball, taking trips out of state. They have cooking classes for the girls, they teach them how to be a good babysitter, they have service projects where they clean the nursery toys. I have even heard of one where they took the 16 and 14 year old girls to a bridal shop and had them try on wedding dresses! They teach that only women can fulfill the  role of nurturer and they are not suited to working in the world.  It goes even further since men are given the priesthood where they are allowed authority over other men and all women.  Even a 12 year old boy has more authority in the mormon church than any woman has.

Women in the mormon church are not even allowed to hold their babies when they are blessed. These blessings are not even a saving ordinance.  Women are not allowed to hold positions of authority over men, to rise  to a position of bishop, etc.

This idea of separate but equal was tried with race. This country had separate places on buses, separate drinking fountains, separate cafes for blacks. This idea was ruled unconstitutional. The Morg fought against the women's rights movement in the 70's. The Morg poured lots of money into this idea in California in Proposition 8 in fighting gay marriage. That idea will also lose. You cannot treat a select class of people as separate and then claim they are equal.

Equal means they have the same access to opportunities, money, authority and rights. If these are being withheld in any form, then this set of people are being discriminated against. This is the definition of discrimination. It is a fallacy that any group of people can be treated as separate yet be equal. The Morg treats women and many other groups as less than equal to white men.

Please consider signing the following:http://whatwomenknow.org/