The Power of Cognitive Dissonance

Can you ever imagine yourself defending something you despise? 

Would you defend adultery? 

Would you defend using manipulation to take another man's wife?

Would you defend coercion to get teenage girls to marry you?

Would you defend lying to your wife in order to take new wives?

I have been astonished for the last few weeks as the new Mormon church articles have come out on polygamy and I have watched good Mormons who are usually moral people defend these types of actions in Joseph Smith.

When I was a believing Mormon, my believing Mormon friends and I would have many discussions on polygamy and I remember those discussions well. We didn't like it, we were offended by it. We hated D&C 132 that stated we would all live it in the Celestial Kingdom. Of all the things taught in the Mormon church, it was this doctrine that disturbed us the most. We despised the doctrine of polygamy.

Now, the Mormons who are defending it are coming out of the wood work. They not only defend it, but defend it in gory details none of us knew about growing up, such as taking teenage brides, lying to Emma and taking wives behind her back, and marrying women who were married to other men at the time. Joseph would also use strong arm tactics and manipulation to gain access to these women. Since this has all been verified through LDS.org and I love this article, I will only link to the sources as there is no reason to repeat it all again here.

None of  this is moral or can be justified, either by today's standards or standards from 200 years ago or 1,000 years ago. This is why; if God is in charge of his church and god is the same yesterday, today and forever, and these things are immoral today, then they were also immoral 150 years ago. If God would not tolerate Warren Jeffs taking child brides today, then he would not tolerate Joseph Smith doing it, nor would he tolerate Muhammad taking a nine year old bride in 600.  Immoral is immoral, no matter what generation.

So, my question is this...what leads good people to defend immoral behavior? Could it be cognitive dissonance?  

Cognitive dissonance is being in a mental state of having conflicting beliefs, behaviors or attitudes.When confronted with information that conflicts with their current state, they seeks to balance it. The more extreme the conflict is, the more the discomfort and people desire a state of equilibrium and will work to achieve this state, so they must change their beliefs, values, behavior or reject the new information.

With the acknowledgement that Joseph Smith practiced polygamy and in such an immoral way has come out, it has put Mormons in a state of cognitive dissonance. They must now find a way to rectify that. How can the church, the Book of Mormon and the prophet they have been told all their lives be god's true church, while also being immoral?  The only way they can rectify these two opposing states of mind is to embrace polygamy where they never did before. To reject polygamy is to reject their esteemed prophet and ultimately the church and everything they have come to believe is true.

It is a crisis of faith they did not expect and are not ready for.

I say if they are going to defend polygamy with such force, they need to embrace it fully and live the principle once again...let go of the cognitive dissonance once and for all and just live it!

"What a thing it is for a man to be accused of committing adultery, and having seven wives, when I can only find one. I am the same man, and as innocent as I was fourteen years ago [when charged with polygamy shortly after his marriage to Emma Hale]; and I can prove them all perjurers. (LDS History of the Church 6:410–411)"

Joseph Smith, perjuring himself 1844

If you are a believing Mormon or a former Mormon, how many details of polygamy did you know about as a Mormon? Take this quiz and find out:

Survey on Joseph Smith's polygamy

What is the definition of morality?

morality

 - definition

1. principles of right or wrong behaviour

2. a system of principles concerning right and wrong behaviour that isaccepted by a particular group of people

3.  the degree to which something is considered to be right or wrong  http://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/british/morality

How does one go about making moral decisions? Is everything so black and white?  Is it always wrong to steal?  Is it always wrong to lie?  When is it okay to have sex and when is not okay to have sex? Is it always wrong to kill a person?  

I was taught that these moral rules are black and white; after all, the 10 commandments teach us they are, right?  I was raised in a church and a family where we weren't taught there was possibly a middle ground, or moral ambiguity.  Then the same people who taught me these absolutes are the very same people who taught me it is acceptable to believe in the death penalty.  Then I read the Bible--talk about a moral land mine!  God killed or commanded people to kill entire groups of people including children and their animals.(If it is wrong to kill people, then why is it okay to kill even in this situation?) In the book of mormon, god tells a man to kill a man, wars are waged in gods name.

 It was also very confusing to be taught my entire life that sex was bad and evil, then it was okay to have sex the day I was married; very confusing. (Is it bad, or good, or evil or good?) God also allows a man to rape a woman as long as he marries her after. There are concubines, polygamy and rape in the bible. How confusing is that?!

God says to not lie, but in the Bible he tells Abraham to lie about the relationship he has with his wife.  The Bible has many other examples of moral ambiguity sanctioned by god.

In the mormon church, as I have read the history, I have also learned it has a great deal of moral ambiguity.  The founder, Joseph Smith, openly taught monogamy,  yet secretly practiced polygamy and polyandry.  http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/ 

http://www.i4m.com/think/images/JS_Polygamy_Timeline.png

The church today, covers up this history from its members, actively seeking to deceive its members by not teaching this history.  In 2008, in relieve society and priesthood meetings, they have studied the life of Joseph Smith and not one single lesson talks about polygamy or polyandry.  http://ldsmediatalk.com/2008/01/09/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-joseph-smith/

The mormon church also teaches that it is sexually pure, by forbidding masturbation, sex before marriage, requiring their garments to be put back on immediately after sex, covering a woman's shoulders. Yet, is has a sexually ambiguous background where men were sent on missions and their wives were then told to marry Joseph Smith or Brigham Young (polyandry) polygamy was practiced against the law, printing presses were destroyed to keep these practices secret.  

http://www.mormonthink.com/joseph-smith-polygamy.htm#jsdeath

http://www.cracked.com/article_19520_5-insane-ways-fear-masturbation-shaped-modern-world.html

http://www.mormonthink.com/joseph-smith-polygamy.htm#other

http://www.i4m.com/think/temples/temple_legacy.htm

I was in a state of cognitive dissonance from the time I could read.

Who can read this history and not be in a state of moral confusion?

Magic?

Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect. 

That said, if you were god and you were going to trust bringing back your church, would you trust such an important job to someone who believes in magic? Would you trust that important job to someone who had been convicted of treasure seeking?  Would you trust someone who had been convicted of conning people out of money by telling them treasure can be found on their property through seer stones? Then, those same seer stones are put in a hat and used to translate a magical book?  Even according to the church records, this is what happened:  http://byulaw.blogspot.com/2005/09/joseph-smiths-arrest-records-found.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzKm7rBhTBQ

Now, the modern day church shows photos of Joseph looking at golden plates and then translating them. However, all first hand reports say he actually put those same seer stones he used for treasure hunting into a hat and that is how we have the BofM today: (church friendly sources)

http://latterdaycommentary.blogspot.com/2008/04/seer-stone-in-hat-book-of-mormon.html

http://mormonstories.org/top10toughissues/peepstones.html

http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon266.htm

http://www.mrm.org/translation

The question remains, then, why does the modern day church go out of its way do deceive its members? It depicts Joseph as using gold plates to translate the BofM through photos and stories when in fact there is no documentation to support this.

Joseph was convicted of treasure seeking.

Joseph believed in magic stones long before the advent of the mormon church.

It is time the believing member were made aware of these facts. 

The Irony

From the time I was a teenager, I have been curious about learning all things mormon. There were two things that troubled me. I didn't understand the mysteries contained in the Bible; and the temple. I became obsessed with understanding.  I felt that my eternal salvation depended on understanding the symbolism in the temple and the Bible, especially the book of Revelation.

As a teen, I even read parts of a book called Mormonism and Masonry. I didn't really understand it, however, since I hadn't been through the temple and I didn't understand what Masonry was, at the time.

I obsessed about going through the temple, wanting all things that god had to offer.  After going through, I wanted nothing more to do with it, thinking it bizarre and cult like.  I didn't understand it.  I was told that I wasn't *worthy* enough to understand all of its symbolism.  I was told that, 'all would be revealed upon my righteousness.' I then tried to live in a way to make me worthy.

I studied the scriptures voraciously.  I read the bible, the BofM, the PofGP, multiple times. I read commentaries on all of them.  I found stuff on the internet.  I found stuff written by other religions.  I attended other religions, hoping that all knowledge would open my eyes. I spent hundreds of dollars on books to help my understanding.

 I tried to live the most righteous life I possibly could. I accepted each calling, even when these callings didn't fall in line with what my patriarchal blessing said these callings should be (my blessing said I would be a leader of other women, that I would rise to great heights of leadership; few of the callings I received, however fit into this category).  I questioned everything.  I researched, I studied, I prayed, I did all these things in an effort to understand the mystery of the temple and the Book of Revelation.

I believed the mormon scriptures that said that all knowledge is of god, that if we seek after good things, it was a good thing.  The more I searched, the more confused I was.  I found out that the way the Bible was put together was not how I was taught in church.  It was very fascinating, but not necessarily inspired by god.  I found out that the Greek and Roman and previous gods that were worshiped by other nations had a great influence on the Jews and eventually the religion that became the Christians. I discovered that there were many, many books that could have been included in the Bible.  I found out the books in the NT were not written by the men that carry their names.  The most recent research on the Book of Revelation is the most fascinating.  Its author concludes that it wasn't meant to be an end-of-days book about our time, but a political commentary about the Roman government and about the time period it was written in.  Of course, this only makes sense, once a person is able to step back and be objective.    http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2012/03/05/120305crbo_books_gopnik?currentPage=all   Elaine Pagel, The Book of Revelation

I found out that Joseph Smith and nearly all of the early leaders in the mormon church were Masons. I found out that all the symbols on the Nauvoo and Salt Lake Temple are not religious symbols, but Masonic symbols. I didn't need to look at anti- sources for this, but to mormon sources:

The History of the Church records Smith's entrance into the Masonic lodge in 1842:

"Tuesday, 15.—I officiated as grand chaplain at the installation of the Nauvoo Lodge of Free Masons, at the Grove near the Temple. Grand Master Jonas, of Columbus, being present, a large number of people assembled on the occasion. The day was exceedingly fine; all things were done in order, and universal satisfaction was manifested. In the evening I received the first degree in Free Masonry in the Nauvoo Lodge, assembled in my general business office." (History of the Church, by Joseph Smith, Deseret Book, 1978, Vol.4, Ch.32, p.550-1)

The next day Smith recorded:

"Wednesday, March 16.—I was with the Masonic Lodge and rose to the sublime degree." (History of the Church, Vol.4, Ch.32, p.552)

The Mormon involvement in Freemasonry reached its heights during the early 1840's in Nauvoo. In the Encyclopedia of Mormonism we read:

"The introduction of Freemasonry in NAUVOO had both political and religious implications....Eventually nearly 1,500 LDS men became associated with Illinois Freemasonry, including many members of the Church's governing priesthood bodies—this at a time when the total number of non-LDS Masons in Illinois lodges barely reached 150." (Encyclopedia of Mormonism, vol.2, p.527)

I learned that the Kirkland temple was vastly different in design, worship and openness than the Nauvoo temple.  Why?  This is a question that will never be answered by mormon leadership.  Why? Because it means opening up dirty little secrets like polygamy:  http://www.i4m.com/think/temples/temple_legacy.htm
http://www.utlm.org/onlineresources/masonicsymbolsandtheldstemple.htm

I learned that I was lied to.  God doesn't have secret handshakes to get us into heaven.  God doesn't require women to cover their faces to pray.  God doesn't require men to take women's hands to get women into heaven.  God doesn't require polygamy to get into heaven.  God doesn't require women to submit to men. God doesn't have an end-of-day plan written in secret-hard-to-interpret writings.


The irony:  My quest to seek further knowledge, wisdom, truth and spirituality lead me out of the mormon church. Only by leaving, did I find the truth.

Not Good for Women VII

Progressive, forward thinking, working women, artists. The mormon ads portray the women in the mormon church as all of these things. Yet, is this really the belief of the leaders and doctrine in the church?

Try on this latest quote:

‎"The most important thing for a woman in this life is to be the wife of a worthy

 priesthood holder and the mother of his children."

"We know that every father can, or should be, an officer in the priesthood,

meaning that he holds the priesthood and presides over his family in 

righteousness."

Boyd K. Packer

Saturday, February 11, 2012http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/worldwide-leadership-training/2012/02/priesthood-power-in-the-home?lang=eng

Note the date.

The man presides OVER his family. Wow. Not the words that translate into equality.

Not the attitude of a progressive church that treats women as equals.

My Words of Wisdom

Almost one year ago, I resigned my membership in the mormon church.  I placed a lot of thought into that decision.  I knew there would be repercussions. I knew how very disappointed my family would be in me, that they would worry for my eternal soul, that they would think I am a very unhappy person. (The one thing that didn't occur to me is that they would interpret everything I do as being angry, odd.) I don't really blame them, they are taught by their church leaders from the time they are born that there is only one path to happiness, one path to heaven and that is through following their rules. If a person diverges even a little bit, they are considered bitter, unhappy, in hell.  It is very controlling and it kept me in line for years; even when I wasn't happy following those rules. Fear and guilt are very controlling, I have discovered.

When I turned my resignation letter into the bishop, he tried to turn our talk into an interview of *worthiness*.  He asked me if I was keeping the word of wisdom. I was taken back at first. I paused then asked him why would I keep something that I didn't believe in?  He didn't know how to answer that.  I wish now that I had more time to spend with him. (We were standing on his porch in zero degree weather). I wish that I could have asked him why, when it says right there in the mormon scriptures that the word of wisdom is not given as a commandment, but as advice, his church has turned it into a requirement to get a temple recommend (in order to get into the mormon heaven, a person must answer 9 questions to gain a temple recommend and attend their temple to be worthy to enter heaven. One of those questions is if they abstain from coffee, tea, tobacco and alcohol as listed in the word of wisdom).  What started out as advice is now a requirement for them to get into heaven. How did that happen? I bet he couldn't tell me.

When blinders fall off and you are able to see things clearly, it is amazing how obvious things are.  Even when I would study the word of wisdom, so much didn't make sense. Why does it say to eat meat sparingly, yet it isn't enforced within the church? Why is it okay to be obese in the church and not eat in moderation?  Why does it say to eat food in season, yet this isn't followed and is out of date since we have transportation that provides for fruits and vegetables to be provided year round?  Where does it say cola drinks are part of the word of wisdom yet so many are forbidden from drinking them?

None of this makes sense because it is nonsensical.  As most things mormon, it evolved over time, not because of inspiration, but because of the dictates of man (IMO). Too bad they don't listen to the scientific research on wine and tea and coffee.

http://www.mormonthink.com/wow.htm

If Only

If only one could find peace in the mormon religion.
If only one could do all that was asked of one to reach the mormon heaven.
If only one could find happiness in the mormon church.

If only:
http://www.afterallwecando.com/

What is the fact?

The entire time I was a mormon, the leaders would warn us to not listen to opponents of the church. They warned us that they were evil, they were sinners, they were tools of the devil.

We were warned that although people who opposed the church would say things such as, 'there are significant changes to the BoM' the leaders in the church would tell us that only minor spelling errors had been made.

You have to see this, then decide for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1foCKuxjTA&feature=share

How can you still believe in your leaders, who are not honest with you?

The trouble with Polygamy

As Warren Jeffs is in the news of late, I can't help but wonder the uncomfortable feelings that are being felt by so many of my former friends who are mormon.  I remember so many discussions we had, that often got heated and ended in arguments and hurt feelings as polygamy is still a difficult topic for most mormon people, especially the women.

As it ought to be.  Although the church has banned the practice, it is still written as doctrine in their approved scripture in

 D&C 321:  1 Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you my servant Joseph, that inasmuch as you have inquired of my hand to know and understand wherein I, the Lord, justified my servants Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, as also Moses, David and Solomon, my servants, as touching the principle and doctrine of their having many ^awivesand ^bconcubines—3 Therefore, ^aprepare thy heart to receive and ^bobey the instructions which I am about to give unto you; for all those who have this law revealed unto them must obey the same. 4 For behold, I reveal unto you a new and an everlasting^acovenant; and if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye ^bdamned; for no one can ^creject this covenant and be permitted to enter into my glory.

Even though the church claims to believe in marriage only between one man and one woman, it is written into their doctrine that no one can enter their version of the highest heaven, the celestial kingdom, unless they practice plural marriage.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/52371806-78/smith-says-women-wives.html.csp?page=1

This article in the Salt Lake Tribune does an excellent job comparing Joseph Smith to Warren Jeffs.  I hope my mormon family and friends will have an open mind enough to read it.

As I have left the church, I am of course, no longer conflicted about polygamy, since I do not believe I will be forced to practice it.  We were always told we would accept it. But how could we, when our kind, loving hearts rejected the thoughts of our husbands having sex with multiple women now?  Leaving us and being emotionally tied to many other women? Physically and emotionally abandoning us to be with others?  If we can't accept it here and now, it isn't going to be possible to accept it in another realm.  This is reality, cognitive dissonance.


http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/52412444-78/polygamy-mormon-hudson-lds.html.csp?page=1

Choose for Yourself

Tonight, I sit in the shade, listening to the music, people watching in downtown Boise.  It is Wednesday and Alive After Five. People are eating, mulling around, drinking beer and wine. Children are splashing in the water ponds.  I hear laughter and see friends getting reacquainted.

As I watch this scene, I marvel that ten years ago, I was taught that this scene was sinful, that to associate in this environment would be considered 'the appearance of evil' and therefore should be avoided. As I take in the scene, I wonder why. Why is this sinful?  No one is being murdered.  No children are being abused.  No grand theft is taking place. So, what is the sin? People are drinking alcohol, including myself.  I have a glass of wine sitting in front of me.

Is the very nature of drinking the alcohol sinful?  Not that I can tell.  Everyone seems to be drinking responsibly.  I see no one drinking in excess.  I see no one acting irresponsibly.  I see no crimes being committed due to drinking.  This isn't to say that these things don't happen, but it is clear by the scene in front of me that the vast majority of people are able to drink in moderation and responsibly.

I believe people for the most part are able to make wise choices for themselves, including drinking alcohol, tea and coffee.  These should be personal choices and not imposed from a church.

http://mormonthink.com/wow.htm

If I Were God

If I were God

If I were God would I...
Make one man suffer for all the wrongs and sins of others?
Create humans in my image then call them unnatural and an enemy to myself?
Create humans in a fallen state when I call them the pinnacle of my creations?
Give them emotions and then say half those emotions are evil?
Give them reason and logic and then tell them to blindly obey?
Kill my creations through floods, earthquakes and tsunami's?
Create disease, birth defects and life long pain and suffering?
Give commandments to only a portion of my people that
are a requirement to return to my presence
thus damming the rest of my creations
to hell for simply being born to the
wrong parents and wrong
country and wrong
century?

When I first became Disillusioned

I have often been asked when I became disillusioned with the Mormon church. I tell people it wasn't a one time event.  It was a process.  There were many things I found odd, many things I didn't believe in. I knew that Joseph Smith practiced polygamy. In my studies of Sunday School I even ran across the word, polyandry, the practice of marrying another man's wife while they are still married to them; which Joseph Smith did. I knew about the Danites, the Mountain Meadows Massacre. I knew about the failed Kirkland Bank that Joseph prophesied would be successful. I knew that Pres. Smith had prophesied that man would never land on the moon.  I knew Brigham Young to be less than honest in his business dealings, a racist, that he didn't treat his wives well.

Yet, I stayed. Why, people outside the Mormon church ask.  Because I was taught from the time I was born that it was the only true church of god and there was only one way to heaven, and it was through that church.  No matter how flawed it was, and I believed that.

Then there were the contradictions in receiving revelations and I began to be at a place where I could not believe any more.  Not only were we supposed to blindly follow what the profit said and we were told that when we followed him, even if what he said may lead us astray, we would not be held accountable (the leaders would say we were not required to have blind faith, but this is blind faith!).  But local leaders began claiming this same infallibility. I could not accept this.  The ward I was in was planning a Trek. The leaders decided to make the trip more authentic, they were going to withhold food and water. I and several others were opposed to this.We voiced our complaints. We were worried about health issues, possible liability, and that the trek was already a difficult experience, it didn't need to be added upon. We were told to be quiet, to implicitly trust our leaders, to not have a voice of dissent. We would not be quiet. I didn't want to have to pull my child out, but if it came to it, I would. We went to former bishops and stake presidents and voiced our concerns and asked them to plead our case. In the end, the pressure that was put on the trek leaders worked and they backed down on this terrible decision and reason won out--this time.

This was a trend. It happened over and over. Dissent was not allowed. If a voice of opposition was expressed, you were labeled as someone who was questioning the spirit. I was questioning policy and poor decision-making. I began questioning how decisions were made. Were all these decisions really being made by the spirit? Or were these men making decisions on their own and then claiming god-inspiration to squelch dissent? The more poor decisions were made, the more I questioned.  I even asked one bishop how he came to make church callings. This was his answer. 'Well, we (the bishopric) pray at the beginning of our meeting, we discuss who we want in each calling, come to a decision, then we pray at the end of our meeting.'  WTF?!   That's men making the decisions and hoping they got it right!

If a forger named Mark Hoffman can con the very top officials of the mormon church into buying fake documents over several years and he not be found out until he commits murder, then there is no spirit of discernment leading this church.
http://mormonstories.org/?p=1236
http://politics.gather.com/viewImage.action?fileId=3096224744574296&articleId=281474977244182