Sunday, October 30, 2011

If Only

If only one could find peace in the mormon religion.
If only one could do all that was asked of one to reach the mormon heaven.
If only one could find happiness in the mormon church.

If only:

Monday, October 24, 2011

Gas lighting

I have been told recently that I must be full of anger and not a happy person because I write this blog. I write this blog, not because I live in the past and dwell on past hurts, but because I want to reach out to other women who may be in the same situation I was in. If I can help them find a way out and find the happiness I have found, I feel a duty to reach out to them.

I had been writing this blog for a while when I was sent a private message by someone who told me how much my blog had helped them.  If there is even one person I can reach, it is enough motivation to keep writing.

When I was married, I wanted the husband to call me once a day. He refused; when I tried to talk to him about it, he marginalized me, saying I was too emotional, too sensitive, too demanding of him.  When I asked him why he was an hour late coming home and hadn't called, he told me I was too emotional to discuss it with me.

It was always me being crazy and not his poor behavior that needed to change. I love, love, love this article; mostly because it is written by a man calling men on their bad behavior; Gas lighting.

It is time that women be treated the same and fairly with men. When I write, I do not write because I am emotional or angry or unhappy. I write to educate and help people evolve into better human beings.

Buck it up, people.

Sunday, October 2, 2011


STRUGGLE... that is what my marriage was; a daily struggle.

I wanted to be alive; to live each day with joy, meaning and activity.  He wanted to stay in a dream world, a world that was not real, a subconscious state, not reality.  The world I wanted consisted of adventure and fun and living each day to its fullest.  His day consisted of creating computers and sitting and dreaming.

He even said to me when we were at the end. He said, 'My perception is my reality'. No, your perception is where you choose to stay and delude yourself, but it doesn't change reality.  I choose to live in reality and love life.

We struggled against each other each day for 20 years; me, to live a full, rich life; him, to live in a dream state.