tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68241321404760335752024-03-04T23:46:02.034-07:00Family BlogUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger248125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-1616519070446430832015-11-10T07:07:00.000-07:002015-11-11T19:11:49.821-07:00Suffer the Little Children...Much has been written about the Mormon church's new policy on banning children of the LBGTQ community from being blessed or baptized into the Mormon church until they are 18. Even then, these children are required to move out of their parent's home and disavow their parent's . This is directly out of the bishop's handbook of instructions, with highlights added:<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWl8SBmNkYw2Vagowo1yatZRgI-l4e7OLcTSLVsPBcndYugX0BM6DAX2YoG4fyOrEoJm7nNL0zs_8DBBaiwqhA5D6ojmP4tfMWkOAYC5O9HxBISCFgm5QaI9HFHUXetcuV2c0GqNKWRXI0/s1600/gay+policy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWl8SBmNkYw2Vagowo1yatZRgI-l4e7OLcTSLVsPBcndYugX0BM6DAX2YoG4fyOrEoJm7nNL0zs_8DBBaiwqhA5D6ojmP4tfMWkOAYC5O9HxBISCFgm5QaI9HFHUXetcuV2c0GqNKWRXI0/s640/gay+policy.jpg" width="436" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The Mormon church has claimed this in the best interest of the children. I disagree on every level with them since the Mormon church believes baptism is a saving ordinance and they are denying a saving ordinance from children:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
1. They are making children choose between a saving ordinance and their parent</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
2. They are making children choose between their parent and the church</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
3. They are separating the child from their peers, while they are advancing the peers in the priesthood and the young womens, they are preventing these children from taking part in these rituals., including doing baptisms for the dead with their peers</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
4. They are setting these children up to be ridiculed and bullied by their peers because they are setting them apart, making them different by not allowing them to participate in giving talks in church, in praying, in advancing the same way their peers are</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
5. They are usurping the role of parent since it is the role of parent to determine what will and will not cause harmony or discord within the family and it isn't the role of the church to determine this</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
6. It is the role of parent to determine a religion for their children, it isn't the role of religion to determine what religion a child will or won't be raised in.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOuFUAvzOjnMYrBwysjhbMCLVG3a9JHwHv56v2azlzc-B8mIANMl24uD0WT95WkUYhR9w1EfXWl-KB3GXCKd_YQ4sVOf-zkYAxh1h_x-hzqJ_z11giq1yFZ-_AFnfkEPlX3op_SeYApJi3/s1600/family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOuFUAvzOjnMYrBwysjhbMCLVG3a9JHwHv56v2azlzc-B8mIANMl24uD0WT95WkUYhR9w1EfXWl-KB3GXCKd_YQ4sVOf-zkYAxh1h_x-hzqJ_z11giq1yFZ-_AFnfkEPlX3op_SeYApJi3/s320/family.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
One more thing I must add. Many Mormons have been quoting their favorite apologists blog, Greg Trimble where he says that Jesus didn't accept everyone, implying that Jesus would reject the same people that Mormons reject. I agree with the premise that Jesus didn't accept everyone, I absolutely reject the premise that Jesus rejected gays, as there is NOTHING in any Biblical scripture to suggest such a thing. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I will agree with Greg Trimble that Jesus did reject some people. Jesus rejected people who took financial advantage of people by selling things at the temple, he rejected the church leaders who did not take care of the poor and did their alms in public. He rejected the leaders who were hypocrites.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLo-DJKhw8rthWAGHdmkyJyIjRPtnltJ-BvcYIfsFMsDKyamUJ3Qc3DJYBAkINUYVZ9ZHTNtTxbNdPAB6VJuQI5b4dxlYXhroTNm03CG3MPDoSok7GZ3U9Bl6mk4vzYL9bwsOTyjqwwqZ/s1600/Susan+B+Anthony.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLo-DJKhw8rthWAGHdmkyJyIjRPtnltJ-BvcYIfsFMsDKyamUJ3Qc3DJYBAkINUYVZ9ZHTNtTxbNdPAB6VJuQI5b4dxlYXhroTNm03CG3MPDoSok7GZ3U9Bl6mk4vzYL9bwsOTyjqwwqZ/s400/Susan+B+Anthony.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
When I stopped believing in all the tenets of the Mormon church, I started drinking coffee, tea and alcohol, since I no longer believed these things to be sinful. I also had these things in my home. My true believing Mormon family, however, believed me to be sinful and would not come into my home, even when my Mom died. My family traveled great distances for my Mom's funeral and spent a great deal of money to be here for her funeral. I offered my home as respite for them. Not a single family member would stay in my 'sinful' home to save money or share in our grief together. I was shunned because of my sins. Love the sinner, hate the sin, right? It is impossible to separate the two out.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
If Mormon's truly believe this new policy will not shun children and parents, they are in error. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3AzyMxnzk5a6CH01SINZe2fLNLq1EI3Ocp_A5UlK2L3TbT3ze4X965oC4HYuhVIZbtm7I6lpleEsovZe3_MPGJcsAGhJQiYULxwbPi8GFiAnkuSeoTN0tbTDcBTmYinb8Hr3iIYb_Xrpy/s1600/wedge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3AzyMxnzk5a6CH01SINZe2fLNLq1EI3Ocp_A5UlK2L3TbT3ze4X965oC4HYuhVIZbtm7I6lpleEsovZe3_MPGJcsAGhJQiYULxwbPi8GFiAnkuSeoTN0tbTDcBTmYinb8Hr3iIYb_Xrpy/s640/wedge.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I wish people would think for themselves. If your first reaction to this new policy is one of revulsion, then your morals are telling you it is wrong. Why would you trust any person above your own ethics?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
WHY?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-45653715607022817642015-04-06T19:15:00.002-06:002015-04-06T19:59:51.587-06:00We are Glorified by Love<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After I was strangled a few years ago, it was the Christian thing to say to me, 'There is a purpose for everything". I would bristle at this and say in return, 'There is no purpose for abuse." At this, there is a pause and without fail, they would have to admit I was correct and they could think of no purpose for abuse.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
This is the main reason that when I left Mormonism behind, I also left Christianity behind. Yesterday I attended the UU service. Since it was Easter Sunday, the minster discussed Jesus and the atonement and the resurrection in detail. My anxiety was building as she was talking because I do not feel comfortable with these topics, as I do not believe in them. As she talked about Jesus' death, she said the only way we can understand his death and ultimate resurrection is if we understand it as myth...when she said this, I breathed a sigh of relief. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
Yes, I can accept Jesus as a man who spoke wise words and died a normal death, then his followers turned his death into a myth because it was too painful to accept his death. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
What has happened with his death since then, I cannot accept, that his followers have turned suffering into a glorious thing. This; I cannot accept:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1xaV_CnwBPMpB6_mGo8yRDMIW7RDEulBDM4EFR1Bnds8sX_aZYeJknRNeRfgJw8OF95MF6UOfgl_ziZUmDjHxBDPBFnrH4ICH1Mluj6mu2ZBWWE4-XGTXyZG_2kIGnAUBGfDhdejdYDXb/s1600/suffering.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1xaV_CnwBPMpB6_mGo8yRDMIW7RDEulBDM4EFR1Bnds8sX_aZYeJknRNeRfgJw8OF95MF6UOfgl_ziZUmDjHxBDPBFnrH4ICH1Mluj6mu2ZBWWE4-XGTXyZG_2kIGnAUBGfDhdejdYDXb/s1600/suffering.jpg" height="396" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then this, from the Mormon church:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 30.6000003814697px; margin-bottom: 10px !important; padding-bottom: 0pt !important; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“A good friend, who knows whereof he speaks, has observed of trials, ‘If it’s fair, it is not a true trial!’ That is, without the added presence of some inexplicableness and some irony and injustice, the experience may not stretch us or lift us sufficiently. The crucifixion of Christ was clearly the greatest injustice in human history, but the Savior bore up under it with majesty and indescribable valor.”</span></i></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30.6000003814697px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">—Neal A. Maxwell, <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-style: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">(1980), 31</span></span></span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Or this:</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30.6000003814697px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Sometimes … we find that even when we do our best to serve the Lord, we still suffer. You may know someone who faces these most challenging of circumstances: consider the parent whose child becomes ill, for whom everyone prays and fasts with all their heart and soul, but who ultimately dies. Or the missionary who sacrifices to go on a mission, then develops a terrible illness that leaves him or her severely disabled or in chronic pain. … The key is to remember that faith and obedience are still the answers—even when things go wrong, perhaps especially when things go wrong.”</span></i></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30.6000003814697px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-align: right; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">—David E. Sorensen, "Faith Is the Answer," <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-style: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ensign,</span> May 2005, 73</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30.6000003814697px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where does this idea come from, that there is glory in suffering? From this concept that Jesus was glorified in his suffering. If he was glorified in his suffering, then we will be, also, right? </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30.6000003814697px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I reject this notion. I reject the notion that a woman who is beaten by her husband should endure in silence because her endurance will bring her glory. I reject the notion that a child who starves to death will be glorified, I reject the notion that genocide will glorify a nation, I reject the notion that pain and suffering brings glory. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Abuse of any kind does not glorify any of us; if all abuse was abolished from the earth today, this earth would be glorified. This, I believe. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30.6000003814697px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If we look at the death of Jesus as a myth, then see that the women who attended to him loved him, we see that his life was about loving the unlovable, we see that his life was about alleviating suffering and and bringing comfort. This changes the entire story of Jesus' life to one of love and not suffering and in this way it can change the way we see our lives and society.</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30.6000003814697px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are glorified by love. </span></div>
</div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30.6000003814697px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-align: right; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; font-style: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></em></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30.6000003814697px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; text-align: right; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-77051279508177156472015-04-05T10:29:00.000-06:002015-04-11T17:59:44.943-06:00My Journey of OppositionToday several brave souls stood up in General Conference and raised their hands to oppose the sustaining of the general authorities as current leaders of the Mormon church. As a part of the movement that is in opposition to the current leadership, I'm so proud of the brave people who had the courage to do this (there were<br />
three others, by the way.)<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKOFmBLwyb6AFtRwVOSo6rIK70r-F6ofQMgsNI2yFkC2V_Ev_ncCrJweBVpDDo3FsH7r0PQ-Vhr_gfdibeP5c3xjg_SmUsQTxBZsn0wx7JGlOlZbE9qDxvsKenQFTOpPXwaz_7UW0PWq-H/s1600/opposed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKOFmBLwyb6AFtRwVOSo6rIK70r-F6ofQMgsNI2yFkC2V_Ev_ncCrJweBVpDDo3FsH7r0PQ-Vhr_gfdibeP5c3xjg_SmUsQTxBZsn0wx7JGlOlZbE9qDxvsKenQFTOpPXwaz_7UW0PWq-H/s1600/opposed.jpg" height="346" width="400" /></a>I have had my own journey with this controversy. When I was in high school, there was a new bishop put in our ward. Within a year, several families felt he was using his position as bishop to financially abuse them, to take financial liberties and to financially ruin them.<br />
<br />
They took their evidence and frustrations to the stake presidency and as I recall, this was not a small group of people, even though it was a minority in the ward, there were about a dozen families involved, (including my own). They put their grievance before the stake presidency only to have it divide the presidency and cause further divide within the ward.<br />
<br />
The families who brought the charges were not getting any redress, so they were being rather vocal within the ward with their frustrations, as well. This was causing a great divide within the ward. Ward conference was coming up and the stress level for everyone was high. When the stake presidency called for a sustaining vote of the bishop, the opposition was high, and vocal.<br />
<br />
The stake presidency said they would meet with those in opposition after church, which they did, but they only decided to leave the bishop in his position (two members of the presidency voting to keep him in, one voting to remove him), thinking that removing him would cause the ward members to distrust them and the process.<br />
<br />
Several ward members went inactive over this and several family members lost homes over business deals and the financial repercussions were severe, who ever was at fault.<br />
<br />
Years later, when I was going through my faith crisis, I began to realize that the church leaders did not make decisions based on listening to promptings from god, but on the leanings on the arm of flesh. This realization led me to the conclusion that I could not raise my hand to sustain church leaders. There is great pressure to go along with the consensus, the group think has incredible pressure within the church, so being the lone person to raise my hand in opposition did not seem like a viable option.<br />
<br />
What I chose to do instead; every Sunday for a few years, was to not raise my hand at all, and so for years I would not raise my hand to sustain my leaders. I would not raise my hand to sustain new people being called, I would not sustain bishops, apostles, nobody.<br />
<br />
As I look back, I wonder how many people were also silently protesting the group think, the system that didn't give us a voice, the pressure to conform.<br />
<br />
My heart goes out to all those who continue to feel stuck in a system that doesn't work for them, who are continuing on with their silent protests. I will raise my arm with a glass of wine in it to you today, in solidarity to those of us who refuse to be part of the group think.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-vxpTiGZnee5BM2cr5zQmq_G8N5POeLivoBfojliuFIIbSM9_SAMVHffGuIrc0GOxpeUrsWbRQUAKqKS-SF0t1kyGXVEvh0ckJtEwFz4y3K1ZumuxFWZo49RzC11wSxmW_KtCQKCiWtZv/s1600/DSCN8999.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-vxpTiGZnee5BM2cr5zQmq_G8N5POeLivoBfojliuFIIbSM9_SAMVHffGuIrc0GOxpeUrsWbRQUAKqKS-SF0t1kyGXVEvh0ckJtEwFz4y3K1ZumuxFWZo49RzC11wSxmW_KtCQKCiWtZv/s1600/DSCN8999.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-52082721028642094182015-03-27T16:21:00.000-06:002015-03-27T16:21:00.290-06:00Accepting others where they are<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This last week I read and re-read the book, "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. She talks about many of us (herself included) that have suffered abuse, but even though we are able to leave the pain behind, the belief systems surrounding that abuse we seem to carry into adulthood.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She talks about how those belief systems serve us, but they also hinder us. For the past 10 years or so, I have lived by most of what she says in her book, but I obviously still carry some of those belief systems with me still.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPLz_jZNIknTxVlBaqHfEtP1RXQ6E4vQvacp50ad4ZjTXXwwUdSAkTy_c1w9nHUPjSvlzUL7dgh9L93MnkqrFXzTpS-IiKg9ka54fuBKRrpRy1-naOnca51zdDNEGZpk80khZmtJa50t6M/s1600/9-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPLz_jZNIknTxVlBaqHfEtP1RXQ6E4vQvacp50ad4ZjTXXwwUdSAkTy_c1w9nHUPjSvlzUL7dgh9L93MnkqrFXzTpS-IiKg9ka54fuBKRrpRy1-naOnca51zdDNEGZpk80khZmtJa50t6M/s1600/9-2.jpg" height="287" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She talks about how this is a process, not a one time step and she used to be angry at herself when faced with belief systems that were harming her, and now she just looks at it and says to herself, 'I love you the way you are and this thing still needs to be adjusted."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm a caretaker and as such, I tend to want to fix things and especially fix people. I run a support group for people in transition. I have learned a very important lesson over the years; I have learned that each and every one of us are responsible for our own behaviors, thoughts and emotions. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even when people's behavior, thoughts and emotions are harmful to them, it still isn't my job to fix them. The more I live by this, the more I am able to allow others to make their own mistakes, even when they are harmful to themselves. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we allow others to be responsible for their own actions, this also leaves no room for victim blaming, a victim doesn't cause abuse to happen to them because the person who does the damage is solely responsible for their own actions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is also easier to let go of telling others how to live their lives because they are responsible for how they live their lives, even if their choices bring them harm. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We have a right to set boundaries when other people's behavior treads on us and causes us harm, however, so let's not confuse setting boundaries, which is good with allowing others to lead their lives.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am still needing a reminder, but this has helped me live a better life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-54917183944454250172015-03-23T10:43:00.002-06:002015-03-23T18:23:27.964-06:00It isn't all about you<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Have you ever just gone about your own business, just doing your own thing, but there is that one person who has to make everything in life about them?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you say the whether is rainy, they complain that it is raining just to irritate them. If the cashier is abrupt, it is just to piss them off, and if you break up with them, they must make it all about them and how you are unfair to them; 'didn't i cook dinner for you well, and clean the kitchen and pay half the bills? What's your problem for not being grateful, after all?'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have to wonder how ego-centric they are to make everything in life about them. They must be so deprived of self love to have to go through life feeling like that all the time.<br />
<br />
Maybe, just maybe it's about me. Maybe I want a man in my life who is financially solvent, who communicates directly rather than passive aggressively, and who isn't depressed all the time. Maybe I want a man in my life who isn't always flirting with every skirt that walks in the room and instead makes me feel like the most important woman in the room.<br />
<br />
Maybe it's about me because I have a right to make it about me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHSUFhjlg22E44MLTT3eoR40cSAltAxTjCK49B-KkQkdpZm0mDjoNzsbd1JQyKkID9GjZ9DVYBJ8VWDFg6i48n29yOPqbO3777Ll5UzJcSZtvOCUk3lpYFkIcmMtN8LJlKUjmdmF2x4JV7/s1600/DSCN5728-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHSUFhjlg22E44MLTT3eoR40cSAltAxTjCK49B-KkQkdpZm0mDjoNzsbd1JQyKkID9GjZ9DVYBJ8VWDFg6i48n29yOPqbO3777Ll5UzJcSZtvOCUk3lpYFkIcmMtN8LJlKUjmdmF2x4JV7/s1600/DSCN5728-2.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-54496496735441935872015-01-30T23:24:00.000-07:002015-01-30T23:24:38.206-07:00Infallible?Recently, the Mormon church had acknowledged that past prophets have not been completely infallible, and have indeed made mistakes.<br />
<br />
Joseph Smith married other men's wives when it is expressly forbidden by god, Brigham Young was a racist, and the church leader's murdered men, women and children in the Mountain Meadow's massacre, among many other mistakes.<br />
<br />
As I've pondered these and many other mistakes, I've come to wonder why does God, who people say is perfect, needs fallible men to communicate with us humans here on earth? If he is go grand and glorious and great, and full of power, then can't he figure out a better way to communicate with us than through fallible men?<br />
<br />
I mean, really, scientists have been able to communicate around the world with people through televisions, telephones, and computers, you'd think god could be as clever and creative, if not more so!<br />
<br />
People have been able to put up an electronic billboard in times square, for heaven's sake!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI88StLu0MsRAuOs5RGxJrwnygj9nQnJZEykerq6wW3o-ClnadT7f0V8eFRb4pP9U47sRY1X7ap0LJ9MPV5DCbPyhkjgWNyawT2OmwekdWjEp7gAQUGE1_C3Mtzmfl8fo2lmMmymByy9E2/s1600/bill+board.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI88StLu0MsRAuOs5RGxJrwnygj9nQnJZEykerq6wW3o-ClnadT7f0V8eFRb4pP9U47sRY1X7ap0LJ9MPV5DCbPyhkjgWNyawT2OmwekdWjEp7gAQUGE1_C3Mtzmfl8fo2lmMmymByy9E2/s1600/bill+board.jpg" height="256" width="400" /></a><br />
What? God can't think to build an electronic billboard in the sky and talk to us through it?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't that be more effective than telling us women through an old man to only wear one pair of earrings?<br />
<br />
How about a billboard in the sky telling us to stop killing each other over religion? How about telling us to stop hating each other because of how we dress, or look, or who we have sex with?<br />
<br />
How about a billboard in the sky telling us that the most important things are to just love and accept each other and tolerate differences? Wouldn't that be better than discriminating and hating on each other?<br />
<br />
How about that, god?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7wKoMFZmVbgeGWyQ4N-tzDkC0sWDaWZLUn0Q5prkos6o1wwj9DeitQBjdN4OerKh5NP7KP2vNZrZMrwaPTGGHdnhQLVQvDD8mPAacAJIy3B4GQ38JUKBiNnBcRnEcgwWp7JDvoRLAA3KF/s1600/gods+reader+board.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7wKoMFZmVbgeGWyQ4N-tzDkC0sWDaWZLUn0Q5prkos6o1wwj9DeitQBjdN4OerKh5NP7KP2vNZrZMrwaPTGGHdnhQLVQvDD8mPAacAJIy3B4GQ38JUKBiNnBcRnEcgwWp7JDvoRLAA3KF/s1600/gods+reader+board.jpg" height="478" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-92205476080028204252015-01-29T21:19:00.002-07:002015-01-30T21:52:24.394-07:00Remember the turnaround....It's all well and good until...<br />
<br />
This last week the Mormon church came out with what they are calling a 'balanced approach' to marriage equality and recent laws being passed across the nation that will refuse public places to discriminate against the LGBT community. <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2015/01/27/us/mormon-church-lgbt-laws/" target="_blank">conditional support</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgso8qHyaE85RYS53zUVHZgOWZ_XoKKcNMaNDPm8ARv4Us1F3sfkIg2Mi0tGyZE2TgSYqS19No02Eqd51wo0xlAbKYmLvSzjGI17rVw43V1WxAon25vNAY0Lx4-4M0Ht6QFt62MDsjWaifh/s1600/DSCN7574.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgso8qHyaE85RYS53zUVHZgOWZ_XoKKcNMaNDPm8ARv4Us1F3sfkIg2Mi0tGyZE2TgSYqS19No02Eqd51wo0xlAbKYmLvSzjGI17rVw43V1WxAon25vNAY0Lx4-4M0Ht6QFt62MDsjWaifh/s1600/DSCN7574.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a>The Mormon church wants other laws to be passed to also protect religious rights. Well, I have news for them, there are already laws in place, its called the first amendment. Any laws written will only give equal protection to the LGBT community that is already afforded the religious community.<br />
<br />
There are no *special* rights being given to anyone, just the same rights that everyone else, including religions, already enjoy. The same day the Mormon church held their press conference, the Utah legislature also introduced <a href="http://le.utah.gov/~2015/bills/static/HB0066.html" target="_blank">HB66</a> that would allow public officials who have a strong religious objection to marriage equality to refuse to issue marriage licenses. This is what the Mormon church calls a *balanced approach*.<br />
<br />
This simply doesn't work. Why not? Because by giving public officials the privilege of claiming strongly held religious objections, then religion will trump law every time, every day....it will put religion ABOVE the law.<br />
<br />
Can a person discriminate against a person by denying them housing? No. Oh, wait, unless they have strong religious objections.<br />
<br />
Can a person discriminate against a person by denying them the ability to marry? No. Oh, wait, unless they have strong religious objections.<br />
<br />
Can a person discriminate against a person by denying them medical help? No. Oh, wait, unless they have strong religious objections.<br />
<br />
This always sounds all fine and well, that is until it is turned around. I wonder how these Mormons are going to feel then these *balanced approaches* are turned around on them?<br />
<br />
How are the Mormons going to feel when their missionaries are refused haircuts because they aren't considered Christians?<br />
<br />
How are the Catholics going to feel when they are denied the privilege of banking at the banks owned by the Jews?<br />
<br />
How are the Evangelists going to feel when they are denied access to Indian or Chinese restaurants?<br />
<br />
It's all well and good until what you wish for is turned around on you.<br />
Be careful what you wish for, Mormons.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzXuSi59H_1usTt16JYM3bDvxx4s9Of7w1y_vQhNgvFim_NAWP4Aroy5_06rwXomQuUxgTyRUu9i6rJUJajB1ZmNs2M398LnKIu02o_pKXgW4aeFYsFy9OW6keXOgQ8wDfSQpgZFZ_HoeQ/s1600/witches.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzXuSi59H_1usTt16JYM3bDvxx4s9Of7w1y_vQhNgvFim_NAWP4Aroy5_06rwXomQuUxgTyRUu9i6rJUJajB1ZmNs2M398LnKIu02o_pKXgW4aeFYsFy9OW6keXOgQ8wDfSQpgZFZ_HoeQ/s1600/witches.jpg" height="442" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-48877356004155558472015-01-01T19:54:00.000-07:002015-01-01T19:54:10.350-07:00Emotional Abuse and Autonomy<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Emotional Abuse
and Autonomy<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You need to have more kids, especially with how beautiful
all your girls are.” My mother-in-law tells me for the hundredth time. Inside
I’m seething, as I have to wonder why it is anybody’s business how many kids I
have, especially my mother-in-laws when she knows how difficult my pregnancies
are as well as the deliveries. She only has three kids, so who is she to tell
me to have more kids, anyway? Why is it anybody’s business? I hate it when
people tell me how many kids to have. I’m overwhelmed as it is, and this only
makes me feel more overwhelmed.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi88w9HALnuyUSjNLVZRxeg4AleQQumIcurpm3sHmVcZgOY9r4uHexILPY5SdoI9PHhSFzXXmrSyk4moyc7VsuKZy3iPXpz0fpg6gOjuvucpSkHQFcpHIH6_I3w7STI_ddGYXWLNNjvTH2i/s1600/birthday1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi88w9HALnuyUSjNLVZRxeg4AleQQumIcurpm3sHmVcZgOY9r4uHexILPY5SdoI9PHhSFzXXmrSyk4moyc7VsuKZy3iPXpz0fpg6gOjuvucpSkHQFcpHIH6_I3w7STI_ddGYXWLNNjvTH2i/s1600/birthday1.jpg" height="640" width="574" /></a></div>
<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m going to take you to Africa and swing you from the
trees.” Joe, an acquaintance tells me in a flirting manner. I feel so uncomfortable, I don’t know what to
say, what kind of come-on is that anyway? How completely inappropriate. I never
know how to handle this, so I answer with a soft no, “I’ll just build a tree
house and hide from you in its safety.” My soft no doesn’t work, as it often
doesn’t, as he persists; “I’ll just build a ladder and come into your tree
house.” I walk away at this point
because I’m so disgusted. My guy friends tell me it’s my fault for not giving
him a strong no by just telling him to fuck off. I contend that a soft no would
be respected by any person who respects boundaries.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Your behavior is so juvenile, you need to stop acting so
silly.” I’m told this on the internet by
someone who doesn’t like my sense of humor.
Why do I need to stop acting silly, I ask myself, I’m not hurting
anyone, if it bothers them, why don’t they go somewhere else where it isn’t
bothering them? If my behavior isn’t harming them, why do they feel compelled
to tell me I must act according to what they want?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_TBMxllEj5Wwrc7aH10AARL4AxwagNd2NLYniY2jUfcT-Cpv0qOB_5G9eXYdTbOTUAC4TxNsnIBMQ2zilc0Ib8u4Z1ECwD-Q9s-W525oqbm5FehUBV6TuPTWS5_AIC-cV2lRkYEo3m1-d/s1600/9-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_TBMxllEj5Wwrc7aH10AARL4AxwagNd2NLYniY2jUfcT-Cpv0qOB_5G9eXYdTbOTUAC4TxNsnIBMQ2zilc0Ib8u4Z1ECwD-Q9s-W525oqbm5FehUBV6TuPTWS5_AIC-cV2lRkYEo3m1-d/s1600/9-2.jpg" height="460" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m tired, I want to go to bed.” John then tells me it would offend him if I
didn’t stay up and watch a movie with him.
The next day, I could hardly make it through my work day, I was so tired
and then I resented him for making me too tired to make it through the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I think this is funny!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s not funny, that’s stupid, and anyone who thinks
that’s funny is stupid.” Says my friend. Well, now I just feel ashamed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m so angry at Randy!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“How dare you…anger
is of the devil, you need to repent.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m sorry, was just expressing how upset I was that Randy
raped me. Now what do I do with all these conflicting emotions?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Stop texting and listen to the speaker!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But it’s boring.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t care.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now I’m bored and
frustrated.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I left a controlling church, I realized how much I was
told how to think: your thoughts will
condemn you, your bad thoughts lead to sinful actions, sexual thoughts are
evil, etc. I was told what to feel:
anger is wrong, jealousy is wrong, sadness is wrong, be happy all the time. I
was told how to behave: wear modest clothing, attend church every Sunday, do
your church calling, listen to uplifting music, etc. As I look back on this, I
realize that very little of these things had to do with harming others, but more
with controlling me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I began to learn to set clear boundaries and take control
over my own emotions, thoughts and behavior. This has been a big learning curve
for me. I have had to learn from others how to do a lot of this. I have been
taught that my thoughts, feelings and behaviors aren’t really mine, but in the
control of patriarchy as well as authority.
I have had to learn assertive communication skills in order to take back
my personal power.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember listening to some women who were going through
marriage counseling and how they were being told they could not control the
behavior of their spouse, they could tell their spouse what bothered them, but
their spouse was in complete control of their own behavior and could then
choose to change their own behavior or choose to not change it. This was very
difficult for me to understand at first. What if that behavior was damaging to
the relationship? Wasn’t the spouse obligated to change? Could they be
compelled to change? I have come to understand that we cannot compel others to
change, not if we want a healthy relationship with them. We can assertively ask
for what we need in a relationship, then after that, we have a choice; we can
accept, compromise or walk away. This
has been the hardest lesson for me to learn.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sulking, giving the silent treatment, yelling, or name
calling are not healthy ways of communicating our wants and needs. We can ask
for what we need, but the other person can choose to accept, reject or
compromise. We become manipulative and lose ground if we use passive aggressive
or aggressive tactics.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are behaviors that are harmful, such as abuse, name
calling, withholding money to control, etc. that should not be tolerated and if
the person does not change, walking away is the best option. But I’ve often
wondered about lots of other behaviors that are annoying but not harmful. How
do we deal with the annoying behaviors of others? I have learned we do the same. We can ask
people to change, but they are still in charge of themselves and if they choose
to not change, we choose to ignore or walk away. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Walking away can look like a lot of things. We can go into
the another room, we can leave a party where someone is being obnoxious, put on
head phones so we don’t have to listen to annoying sounds, etc. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the years wane, I began to ponder why people think it is
their right to tell other people how to act when it isn’t harming them. I
wonder why people think they must tell others how to dress (mostly modestly)
how to think (it isn’t okay to think about sex) or how to feel (it isn’t okay
to feel anger, jealousy or sadness). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I run a support group and this is always a point of
contention within the group, as people attempt to control others by telling
them what behavior and feelings are acceptable and which ones are not. This
causes the most contention within the group than anything else. I have learned
a lot over the years as I had to moderate the group. I have learned this; that
people have a right to their own self-determination over their own thoughts,
feelings and behavior as long as they are not harming others.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiyF1sNkyLCYwuB2iWPjH_jtjxF_8zpESjS-_ePrlauYRCSDMg-bQkT8KiwrhDu2TpXNb66W-9iG1zIyDn12GTXqvnf_tVTTLcgBUQqcl9UMnUDIGW0W7eUwAYOlS4n2RLv7cA6qA062h-/s1600/11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiyF1sNkyLCYwuB2iWPjH_jtjxF_8zpESjS-_ePrlauYRCSDMg-bQkT8KiwrhDu2TpXNb66W-9iG1zIyDn12GTXqvnf_tVTTLcgBUQqcl9UMnUDIGW0W7eUwAYOlS4n2RLv7cA6qA062h-/s1600/11.jpg" height="640" width="568" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is when others attempt to control our thoughts, behavior
or emotions that causes the greatest amount of friction in relationships. We seek autonomy. I see other’s attempt to control us through
passive words, behavior, ideas as well as through aggressive words, behavior
and ideas. People are not separate from their behavior, and to say their
behavior is bad, wrong or in error, but they are not is the same as calling
them bad, wrong or in error. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Such things as sulking, the silent treatment, yelling, or name
calling are just a few ways people use to attempt to control other people’s
behavior, emotions or thoughts. Why is
it so difficult to allow other people the autonomy to self-determination?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The definition of emotional abuse includes this<b><i>: </i></b><b><i><span style="color: #3a3a3a; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">verbal assault, humiliation,
intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the
sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth."</span></i></b> <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, when a person attempts to assert control over others, it
is a form of emotional abuse. Each person needs to be able to determine for
themselves, from the very small things, to the very large things. We can choose
our sexual partners, when we are tired and need to rest. We get to choose how
many children we are capable of having (or none at all), as well as which
emotions we are feeling, from sadness to frustration to anxiety to anger to
happiness. We get to choose our clothes, and even our laugh and sense of
humor. We choose our thoughts and ideas
as well. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-26931363858705045842014-12-04T20:22:00.000-07:002014-12-04T22:00:33.338-07:00Not all that wander are lost...Not all that wonder are lost...Here are some YouTube videos that have helped me along my wanderings:<br />
<br />
I left the Mormon church, not because I had discovered the Mormon church had lied to me about its history (the main reason most current members are leaving) but because <span style="text-align: center;">I could not trust priesthood authority over my own thoughts, feelings, intuition, or spirituality. </span><span style="text-align: center;">Too many times the priesthood authority said was right contradicted my own moral compass and in the end, I chose to follow my own moral compass. When I first left, I thought I would one day return, however, after watching this video, I knew I could never return:</span><br />
<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/hcyzkd_m6KE/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/hcyzkd_m6KE&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/hcyzkd_m6KE&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<br />
This one asks how could it be possible to carry the gold plates when they would have weighed about 200 pounds:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/CsxWnGt96Xk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
I knew about the DNA and the Book of Mormon, so it was a pleasant surprise to find information about it on YouTube:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/pa60T879hDQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Hitchens is great and so are his videos about the origins of the beginning of the Mormon church:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/L9UzbucqHCc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
I think it is natural that once a person questions their own dogma, to also question all dogma:<br />
<br />
I can't get this one to embed, but it's still worth the watch: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i82tsObovvU&index=2&list=ULk2nCJTWk3lo" target="_blank">What if?</a><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/-QDo0jKP3G0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
I have tried on many occasions to try and talk to my Mormon family about my wanderings and about my research but they feel personally attacked and get defensive. Why do they take my criticism of their religion as a personal attack on them? Because of this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/-j8ZMMuu7MU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
So, this is a long video but well worth it. In fact, all the Ex-Mormon conference videos are well worth the time:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/kHsvZooc4Bc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
One of the things Mormons have misunderstood the most about their own church is the misappropriations of funds. Billions of funds spent on City Creek mall, for example:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/fha9_J-O33U/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/fha9_J-O33U&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/fha9_J-O33U&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
For laughs, some of my favorite channels:<br />
1. Mormon Ambassador:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/8cOnyvPp6lI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
2. Flackerman:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/O57HTriXrIY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
3. Mr. Deity:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/4bIvRNa0zcw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
4. Newnamenoah:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/2hqNN5TZ8hk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-37103625046905449622014-11-23T13:25:00.000-07:002014-11-23T14:18:24.765-07:00Agency and Morality<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.3599996566772px;">I wonder and I wonder at the concept of agency...</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.3599996566772px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.3599996566772px;">What does it mean to choose? Are we free to choose or are we punished if we make a choice that is counter to the *right* choice? According to the Mormon church, there is <i><b>ONLY</b></i> one choice, to do what they tell you:</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.3599996566772px;"><br /></span></span>
<big><i>"When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done. When they propose a plan--it is God's Plan. When they point the way, there is no other which is safe. When they give directions, it should mark the end of controversy, God works in no other way. To think otherwise, without immediate repentance, may cost one his faith, may destroy his testimony, and leave him a stranger to the kingdom of God."</i></big><br />
<big><i>Ward Teachers Message, Deseret News, Church Section p. 5, May 26, 1945<br />Also included in the Improvement Era, June 1945 <small>(which was the official church magazine before the Ensign)</small></i></big><br />
<big><small><br /></small></big>
<big><i>"Always keep your eye on the President of the church, and if he ever tells you to do anything, even if it is wrong, and you do it, the lord will bless you for it but you don't need to worry. The lord will never let his mouthpiece lead the people astray."</i></big><br />
<i>LDS President Marion G. Romney (of the first presidency), quoting LDS President (and prophet) Heber J. Grant "Conference Report" Oct. 1960 p. 78</i><br />
<big><br /></big>
<big><i>"When the Prophet speaks the debate is over".</i></big><br />
<i>N. Eldon Tanner, August Ensign 1979, pages 2-3</i><br />
<big><br /></big>
<big><i>"Follow your leaders who have been duly ordained and have been publicly sustained, and you will not be led astray."</i></big><br />
<i>Boyd K. Packer (General Conference, Oct. 1992; Ensign, Nov. 1992</i>)<br />
<div>
<big><br /></big></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDvtxV-Yx9mNgM_1w58mRagacZiFTvq4KPM6N66ejkyx2uWklpNBMUjfkQZgZAZCnR4UKvE6A1bTWhLMd4WA4-LD0YJcGc-dSQGH47rivJbJravxeC1seNghlfm2JMQoo1XyFdF7V1IbJV/s1600/lead+astray.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDvtxV-Yx9mNgM_1w58mRagacZiFTvq4KPM6N66ejkyx2uWklpNBMUjfkQZgZAZCnR4UKvE6A1bTWhLMd4WA4-LD0YJcGc-dSQGH47rivJbJravxeC1seNghlfm2JMQoo1XyFdF7V1IbJV/s1600/lead+astray.jpg" height="419" width="640" /></a></div>
<div>
<big><br /></big></div>
<div>
<big>Yes, from the times of Brigham Young:<i> </i></big><i>"The Lord Almighty leads this Church, and he will never suffer you to be led astray if you are found doing your duty. You may go home and sleep as sweetly as a babe in its mother's arms, as to any danger of your leaders leading you astray, for if they should try to do so the Lord would quickly sweep them from the earth."</i></div>
<big><i>Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 9, p. 289, 1862.</i></big><br />
<big><br /></big>
<big>To today, the leaders of the Mormon church have claimed that they speak for god and will not lead us astray. There have been recent developments that have led many people to have a crisis of faith and to attempt to stem this, the leaders are once again telling the people to not trust in their own moral compass, but to trust in the leaders of the church. In the most recent Ensign article, the <a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/12/young-adults/the-answer-to-all-the-hard-questions?lang=eng" target="_blank">LDS leaders want you to trust them even when they have lied to you</a> </big><br />
<big><br /></big>
<big>I left the Mormon church BEFORE I knew that Joseph Smith took other men's wives from them (the church calls this polyandry, but since polygamy and all its various forms was illegal at the time, then these marriages were illegal so he was in fact just engaging in adultery. He also lied to Emma, his only legal wife. He also used manipulation to gain access to girls as young as 14 years old. <a href="http://mormonessays.com/" target="_blank">Link to LDS acknowledgments </a>) </big><br />
<big><br /></big>
<big>I left because it isn't right to discriminate against people because their skin color is different than my own.</big><br />
<big>I left because it isn't right to discriminate against people because their sexuality is different than my own.</big><br />
<big>I left because it isn't right to discriminate against people because their gender is different than yours.</big><br />
<big>I left because it isn't right to pursue the impossible idea of perfection at the cost of being your best.</big>
<big>I left because my moral compass compelled me to leave.</big><br />
<big><br /></big>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<big><span style="font-size: large;">Why did I leave the Mormon church? I left because I could not trust priesthood authority over my own thoughts/feelings/intuition/spirituality.</span></big></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Too many times the priesthood authority said what was right contradicted my moral compass and in the end, I must follow my own moral compass.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ey.1:3:1:$comment799676676740750_799694070072344:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body" style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15.3599996566772px;"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ey.1:3:1:$comment799676676740750_799694070072344:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ey.1:3:1:$comment799676676740750_799694070072344:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$4:0"><br /></span></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ey.1:3:1:$comment799676676740750_799694070072344:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body" style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15.3599996566772px;"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ey.1:3:1:$comment799676676740750_799694070072344:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ey.1:3:1:$comment799676676740750_799694070072344:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$4:0"><br /></span></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-72902949705799329702014-11-13T04:21:00.001-07:002014-11-13T04:43:25.843-07:00The Power of Cognitive Dissonance <div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px; text-align: center;">
<b>Can you ever imagine yourself defending something you despise? </b></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px; text-align: left;">
Would you defend adultery? </div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Would you defend using manipulation to take another man's wife?</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Would you defend coercion to get teenage girls to marry you?</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Would you defend lying to your wife in order to take new wives?</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
I have been astonished for the last few weeks as the new Mormon church articles have come out on polygamy and I have watched good Mormons who are usually moral people defend these types of actions in Joseph Smith.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
When I was a believing Mormon, my believing Mormon friends and I would have many discussions on polygamy and I remember those discussions well. We didn't like it, we were offended by it. We hated D&C 132 that stated we would all live it in the Celestial Kingdom. Of all the things taught in the Mormon church, it was this doctrine that disturbed us the most. We despised the doctrine of polygamy.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Now, the Mormons who are defending it are coming out of the wood work. They not only defend it, but defend it in gory details none of us knew about growing up, such as taking teenage brides, lying to Emma and taking wives behind her back, and marrying women who were married to other men at the time. Joseph would also use strong arm tactics and manipulation to gain access to these women. Since this has all been verified through <a href="https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng" target="_blank">LDS.org</a> and I love <a href="http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/1764577-155/essay-church-joseph-polygamy-women-consider" target="_blank">this article</a>, I will only link to the sources as there is no reason to repeat it all again here.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
None of this is moral or can be justified, either by today's standards or standards from 200 years ago or 1,000 years ago. This is why; if God is in charge of his church and god is the same yesterday, today and forever, and these things are immoral today, then they were also immoral 150 years ago. If God would not tolerate Warren Jeffs taking child brides today, then he would not tolerate Joseph Smith doing it, nor would he tolerate Muhammad taking a nine year old bride in 600. Immoral is immoral, no matter what generation.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
So, my question is this...what leads good people to defend immoral behavior? Could it be cognitive dissonance? </div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Cognitive dissonance is being in a mental state of having conflicting beliefs, behaviors or attitudes.When confronted with information that conflicts with their current state, they seeks to balance it. The more extreme the conflict is, the more the discomfort and people desire a state of equilibrium and will work to achieve this state, so they must change their beliefs, values, behavior or reject the new information.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
With the acknowledgement that Joseph Smith practiced polygamy and in such an immoral way has come out, it has put Mormons in a state of cognitive dissonance. They must now find a way to rectify that. How can the church, the Book of Mormon and the prophet they have been told all their lives be god's true church, while also being immoral? The only way they can rectify these two opposing states of mind is to embrace polygamy where they never did before. To reject polygamy is to reject their esteemed prophet and ultimately the church and everything they have come to believe is true.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
It is a crisis of faith they did not expect and are not ready for.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
I say if they are going to defend polygamy with such force, they need to embrace it fully and live the principle once again...let go of the cognitive dissonance once and for all and just live it!</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfFsU47CjNGUDH1gpmne7bdX9Qv0mffY4rG05mSdybWHlhdvjEQ3T_b7Pk4DCvs4SG8sbPNKuwUb9LmtWiCUohldlVQHisYl9Qm_92n0IHB4uY6XjUm1X6oujHJDU6mPVX8LhXzXcZK4Dq/s1600/warren+jeffs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfFsU47CjNGUDH1gpmne7bdX9Qv0mffY4rG05mSdybWHlhdvjEQ3T_b7Pk4DCvs4SG8sbPNKuwUb9LmtWiCUohldlVQHisYl9Qm_92n0IHB4uY6XjUm1X6oujHJDU6mPVX8LhXzXcZK4Dq/s640/warren+jeffs.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
"What a thing it is for a man to be accused of committing adultery, and having seven wives, when I can only find one. I am the same man, and as innocent as I was fourteen years ago [when charged with polygamy shortly after his marriage to Emma Hale]; and I can prove them all perjurers. (LDS History of the Church 6:410–411)"</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-top: 6px;">
<div style="font-size: 14px;">
Joseph Smith, perjuring himself 1844</div>
<div style="font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px;">
If you are a believing Mormon or a former Mormon, how many details of polygamy did you know about as a Mormon? Take this quiz and find out:</div>
<div style="font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://kwiksurveys.com/app/rendersurvey.asp?sid=n5prixfnwttila1448174&refer=www%2Efacebook%2Ecom" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Survey on Joseph Smith's polygamy</span></a></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-70253946774602484072014-11-01T21:09:00.000-06:002014-11-01T21:17:11.940-06:00How to Avoid DVI am a survivor-- I have survived abuse from my childhood, marriage and the strangulation of a short term relationship. The number one question people ask is why women like me go back to the abuser. I had learned by the third man to walk away, but in my 20 year marriage, I separated from him seven times; yes, seven times before I learned to walk away for good. Instead of looking at this from the woman's point of view, I want to look at it from the man's point of view....how do they get the women to stay.<br />
<br />
How do abusive men get the women to come back to them time and again when the women suffer such abuse?<br />
<br />
From the time we are infants, we are programmed to attach to our caregivers...our very survival depends on it. Our food, shelter and even love are dependent on our caregivers providing that for us.<br />
<br />
Abusers are able to capitalize on this basic survival need all humans have, to bond with those who provide for our every need, our shelter, our emotional needs, our physical needs, even our very lives. They slowly take away the ability for the person to independently take care of themselves or to think they can get their needs met through family or friends.<br />
<br />
There are four elements or conditions the abuser must control in order to make his victim his domain:<br />
1. A perceived threat to the victim's existence, and the victim believes the the perpetrator will carry out the threats<br />
<br />
2. The perpetrator gives small acts of kindness to the victim...these acts of kindness may be in the form of jewelry (known as apology jewelry) telling the victim they will not hit them tonight even though dinner is burned, or taking out to dinner for a rare night out on the town. These acts of kindness are given in the context of terror (the victim knows the perpetrator may turn on them at any moment.)<br />
<br />
3. The perpetrator isolates the victim. This happens over time and by several means...the victim knows that if family or friends are part of their life, their lives are also in danger; that by telling family what is going on, the victim's life is in peril, and the victim comes to believe the perpetrator has complete control over life and death.<br />
<br />
4. The perpetrator is able to make the victim believe they do not have the capacity to escape.<br />
<br />
When asked victims of abuse, 'Why did you stay so long?' Most will say something like, 'I know it doesn't make sense, I just loved him.' Yet, it is in the perpetrator's behavior that we find the answer. The perpetrator sets up the victim through a series of constant threats followed by acts of kindness. The perpetrator will then cycle through the threats (followed by actual violence or emotional abuse) then followed by more acts of kindness.<br />
<br />
The victim goes through cycles of having their self-esteem shredded followed by feeling loved. This causes an imbalance of power called Trauma Bonding. This causes a hostile environment emotionally, physically and mentally, or<i><b> a constant state of survival mode known as cognitive dissonance is set up to help the victim to survive</b></i>.<br />
<br />
When a person is in a trauma situation they have three options, fight, flight or freeze. The victims in these situations have learned to freeze out of fear. Fear is the number one weapon of the perpetrators. When we are faced with fear, we often regress and the perpetrator uses this regression to his advantage and the victim is often seen as infantile, she takes her perpetrator back, and is immobilized to inaction, and becomes powerless. The perpetrator is then in the position of parent and the victim in the role of child.<br />
<br />
It is important to know the patterns of perpetrators, so that women can recognize them early on and escape and family and friends can better understand why it is so difficult for victims to escape.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7SeehyIynTTw1W6jesH6FdhRbCumzlvmSqKO59onaaPXR8ST7lpqlnHo1r0oAJi8DYP6_m6q_nlq5CawKhbtcBIj5P9sUKsvOpaZMau80jk0Xxn98skeHeFA_hSQWM7TgWply5pd0Oz0P/s1600/DSCN8634.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7SeehyIynTTw1W6jesH6FdhRbCumzlvmSqKO59onaaPXR8ST7lpqlnHo1r0oAJi8DYP6_m6q_nlq5CawKhbtcBIj5P9sUKsvOpaZMau80jk0Xxn98skeHeFA_hSQWM7TgWply5pd0Oz0P/s1600/DSCN8634.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://narcissisticbehavior.net/category/what-is-stockholm-syndrome/" target="_blank">Narcissist and Stockholm syndrome</a><br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-32266263062645459002014-09-01T11:07:00.003-06:002014-09-01T11:08:44.294-06:00What IS wrong with us?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4E5_S2YbvWyoXiEJOL-OHDqDB4ss2iWfS4d_kujd5io69VxRZ8jE8kDQTtd4Qxz_83Nu1Iz8tQIDs84p_8eb1eOkS-2dxFFbUo1wG2XYtGejcw9xARdeVEVPBQxVh-C04rWWU5eI-sd7E/s1600/WTF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4E5_S2YbvWyoXiEJOL-OHDqDB4ss2iWfS4d_kujd5io69VxRZ8jE8kDQTtd4Qxz_83Nu1Iz8tQIDs84p_8eb1eOkS-2dxFFbUo1wG2XYtGejcw9xARdeVEVPBQxVh-C04rWWU5eI-sd7E/s1600/WTF.jpg" height="640" width="142" /></a></div>
<a href="http://www.tickld.com/x/wtf-is-wrong-is-wrong-with-americans-this-guy-nails-it" target="_blank">WTF?</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-4432604803861555862014-08-24T20:25:00.000-06:002014-08-24T21:23:37.124-06:00Don't Believe Everything you Hear About Apostates<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Don't Believe Everything</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b> you hear about</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b> Apostates</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't believe everything you hear about apostates, odds are, it probably isn't true.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When my boyfriend and I were dating, we did the dorkiest things, we would go to the Deseret Book store and look at the apologist books. After awhile, we noticed that all of them seemed to have a common theme, they seemed to be plagued with anti-apostate literature. The workers didn't have a response, and I wondered, 'if they were comfortable with their doctrines, wouldn't they just leave us alone? Maybe they should follow the counsel of the <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;">5th Chapter of Acts., Gamaliel told the Jews that were preoccupied with proving them wrong to “</span><em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 26px;">let them alone: for <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">if</span> this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God.”</em><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;"> (Acts 5:41)</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;">The things I found in those books weren't fair and they definitely weren't accurate. They took things out of context and misquoted things from us apostates. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 26px;">So here's the thing... a bunch of good hearted people go to the Mormon bookstores or innocently attend the Mormon church and BOOM! They hit them with a bunch of stuff that makes us apostates look like a bunch of freaks. Remember, just because a guy publishes a blog doesn't make him an expert on Apostates! Remember, he's bashing people who have sincerely researched and studied out and come to a thoughtful conclusion that should be respected. He's too busy with the rigor of his self absorption to realize he is tearing down the apostates for their beliefs. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 26px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 26px;">Even if you never join the apostates, just don't believe everything you hear about them. Keep an open mind, and find out for yourself. Invite one over for dinner and ask them why they believe what they believe. It won't hurt you to ask them, they aren't contagious after all. Even if you decide to not become an apostate, it won't hurt you to be friends with them, there's no need to declare a theological war on them. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;"> Even Christ said in Luke 9:50 that</span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #2f393a; line-height: 26px;"> “he that is not against us is </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #2f393a; line-height: 26px;">for</span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #2f393a; line-height: 26px;"> us.” No apostate is against you, and if they don't want to be your friend, they shouldn't be an apostate.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #2f393a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 26px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #2f393a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 26px;">So let's flip this around, if you're already an apostate, you shouldn't just believe what others tell you, you should study it out, find out for yourself...read lots of information, in fact a good place to get both sides of the story is here; <a href="http://mormonthink.com/" target="_blank">http://mormonthink</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;">You shouldn't become an apostate just because it's a cool thing to do or because Amy Adams or Aaron Eckhart are <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_former_Latter_Day_Saints" target="_blank">famous exmormons</a>. Don't just believe in being an apostate because your Mom and Dad says you should, yes, these are great reasons, but you need to study it out in your mind when you get a stupid of thought that means you have stumbled into apologetics and you need to leave as quickly as you can.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: large; line-height: 26px;"><b>You are not an apostate just because </b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: large; line-height: 26px;"><b>you like Amy Adam's tits</b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;">Do you remember when Carl Sagan made one of the most incredible statements in human history? "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." Remember that Carl Sagan is telling us that the only way to get to truth is through studying and seeking knowledge.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 26px;">So, if you're not an apostate, don't believe what you are told about apostates. People err because they blindly follow without studying it out for themselves. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; line-height: 26px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEHmQZ9M3wRyzW5FnZRq8JStjLQpXzDb9ANFn3Z48z9YQz7xQ8lvmqt9e9CYPzj7Gb6srXDHrgycV7SijvdSIKgGQXQNbyg2XSQHhz5_oBSBCjHAWbsZ4sGRXrkvr9ixvRZ-qzBfrhyGLA/s1600/authoritaaah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEHmQZ9M3wRyzW5FnZRq8JStjLQpXzDb9ANFn3Z48z9YQz7xQ8lvmqt9e9CYPzj7Gb6srXDHrgycV7SijvdSIKgGQXQNbyg2XSQHhz5_oBSBCjHAWbsZ4sGRXrkvr9ixvRZ-qzBfrhyGLA/s1600/authoritaaah.jpg" height="452" width="640" /></a></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-66863514590351319562014-08-05T12:31:00.001-06:002014-08-07T11:36:58.110-06:00Mormon God, where are you?<div style="text-align: center;">
Today, the Mormon church pulled its missionaries out of Africa, afraid its missionaries are going to get Ebola.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Shouldn't the Mormon church be leaving its missionaries IN Africa to place a healing blessing on all those victims with Ebola?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I thought the priesthood healed sickness? Where are all those healing blessings? Isn't this a time for the Mormon church to show its true colors? Isn't this a time to show the world the great powers of the priesthood? Isn't this the time to heal the world?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe the church is showing us their true colors by running away?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865607954/Ebola-outbreak-prompts-evacuation-of-LDS-missionaries-from-two-African-nations.html" target="_blank">Mormon missionaries running away from Ebola</a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTPUGI2Oqlx2trht-Bql3DyEmBk7Z1jiyNzOEkBML9vq3Ia30xj20o_6aBRs81oiPlOI0zmiKJwTRFYjCWu2HZVdw52P-BN1c9Wy4xclLBHGfLQHt_P0ScatF6OL5Kb88ZRr9FrNS8MLU4/s1600/ebola.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTPUGI2Oqlx2trht-Bql3DyEmBk7Z1jiyNzOEkBML9vq3Ia30xj20o_6aBRs81oiPlOI0zmiKJwTRFYjCWu2HZVdw52P-BN1c9Wy4xclLBHGfLQHt_P0ScatF6OL5Kb88ZRr9FrNS8MLU4/s1600/ebola.jpg" height="221" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.un.org/apps/news/story.asp?NewsID=47459#.U-O4yPldWSo" target="_blank">United Nations Photo</a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-81420647220845096372014-08-02T13:59:00.002-06:002014-08-02T21:10:29.169-06:0012 Reasons Religion Belongs at ChurchI get links to articles all the time that show fallacies and I just ignore them, but sometimes, the articles are so bad and they must be answered. This article is one of them: <a href="http://national.deseretnews.com/article/2025/10-reasons-why-religion-belongs-in-school.html#ZxDGW773JM6OedPb.01" target="_blank">10 Reasons why religion should be in schools</a><br />
<br />
FIRST:<br />
For any U.S Citizen who understands the constitution they should immediately have bells going off in their head when they read that headline because they should know and understand the Constitution which reads:<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: #ebedee; border: 0px; color: #3c3c3c; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16.00299835205078px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Amendment Text </div>
<div style="background-color: #ebedee; border: 0px; color: #3c3c3c; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16.00299835205078px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof</div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">"The First Amendment also includes the right to freely express one’s religion. It does so by guaranteeing every person the right to express any religious belief, or none at all<b><i>, while at the same time prohibiting the government from favoring any particular religion over another</i></b>. The government cannot dictate how we should act or what we should believe, especially when it comes to religion" (highlighting is my own addition). <a href="https://www.rutherford.org/constitutional_corner/amendment_i_freedom_of_religion_speech_press_and_assembly/" target="_blank">freedom of religion</a></span></blockquote>
<br />
The purpose of the First Amendment is to protect religious freedom, so that one religion is not forced upon the people, it protects the freedom of all people to practice their religion of choice,<u><b> so when this article assumes that ONLY Christianity will be taught in schools, this is illegal, as it would force one belief system onto all the American citizens, thus invalidating the U.S. constitution.</b></u><br />
<br />
SECOND:<br />
A set of bells continues to go off, that there is an assumption that there is only one religion in America, that of Christianity, and that Americans are united in what Christianity is! For example, the Catholic church alone is composed of 23 different church branches alone.<br />
<br />
How about the Protestants? Well, you have the Lutherans, the Pietisms who branched off the Lutherans; then there are the Anglicanisms, and the Puritan branch and the Methodist branch or the Congregationalists: From the Continental Reformed Church, there are branches named Presbyterians, Calvinism, Baptists; then there were the Ana Baptists (but they died out because they didn't believe in sexual intercourse), Pentecosts, Holiness Movement, and Adventist Movement. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations" target="_blank">American Christian Denominations</a><br />
<br />
Of course there are the Scientology, Jehovah Witnesses and Mormons. So, which one? Which type of Christianity would be taught? All of them? How about other religions? There are over 310 religions in the USA alone. Here is a list of them: <a href="http://undergod.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=000068" target="_blank">310 Religions in USA</a><br />
<br />
THIRD:<br />
<b><i>"It improves brain development"</i></b>. He makes a non-sequitur fallacy in his first point: Herb Scribner points to a recent study that found that children raised to believe that fictional tales are real have a more difficult time telling the difference between reality and fantasy, and I quote from him, '<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 15px;">Believing in fiction and having a creative mind can be beneficial in brain development.' <a href="http://national.deseretnews.com/article/2025/10-reasons-why-religion-belongs-in-school.html#ZxDGW773JM6OedPb.01" target="_blank">fantasy</a> </span><br />
<div>
Yes, I completely agree with this, but what does this have to do with teaching religion in the schools? There is no connection between being creative and teaching religion.<br />
<br /></div>
He goes on to point to an article on pretend play. A non sequitur fallacy is one that does not follow logic, and that is what Herb does here. Children know the difference between fantasy and reality in pretend play. In the article he links to in pretend play, at no point do the children think they are really firefighters and try to really put out real fires. At no point do the children really try to cook on real stoves with real food. At no point do the children do the children try to drive real cars. They understand they are <i><b>pretending...that is the point of their play! This is why it is called pretend play.</b></i><br />
<div>
<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<div>
Pretend play improved brain development, religion doesn't, according to the articles he sites.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
FOURTH<br />
<b><i>"It keeps kids out of trouble."</i></b> Herb sites a study that shows a correlation between people in their 20's who live 7 years longer if they attend a religious organization than those who do not. The problem with this study, however, is it shows a <u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">correlation</u> and not a causation, and as anybody who knows about research, there is a big difference between the two.<br />
<br />
Correlation is not causation, as anyone in research will tell you. Here are a few examples of things that are correlated but there is no causation:<br />
<br />
The more films Nicolas Cage appears in, the fewer people who die in helicopter accidents: <a href="http://www.nerdist.com/2014/05/nic-cage-prevents-helicopter-accidents-or-why-correlation-does-not-mean-causation/" target="_blank">correlation</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh19IVaLPAzvyzWu75J3LnJ51_P1CYhnNzMVCMn9ILsCKuPsF5u855Dl5CUPP08vZf6xYsL-IGuus0EWUBtgd0FQQJlq3A5UXxVG3ecIJCAjGdbfJO26gSGWhpB2IQieUxMb8NQV5V4yc4m/s1600/CAGE-FEAT.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh19IVaLPAzvyzWu75J3LnJ51_P1CYhnNzMVCMn9ILsCKuPsF5u855Dl5CUPP08vZf6xYsL-IGuus0EWUBtgd0FQQJlq3A5UXxVG3ecIJCAjGdbfJO26gSGWhpB2IQieUxMb8NQV5V4yc4m/s1600/CAGE-FEAT.png" height="356" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Or how about this one, The More money the U.S spends on Science and technology, the more deaths there are by suicide:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJMMHpIV7yPxzTPb46kujdwN-6G7IMY2j2xmNK57XyocbnqM3V1SWAhgiWDOtiJyiqIg7O0wpoBt2jHSetxhu237S88qdM4ymiOdSjnfco2HXmFkXKpC0QkZSZ8g4xpRiYwxMxberXoBn9/s1600/SCIENCE.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJMMHpIV7yPxzTPb46kujdwN-6G7IMY2j2xmNK57XyocbnqM3V1SWAhgiWDOtiJyiqIg7O0wpoBt2jHSetxhu237S88qdM4ymiOdSjnfco2HXmFkXKpC0QkZSZ8g4xpRiYwxMxberXoBn9/s1600/SCIENCE.png" height="360" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">FIFTH:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"Religious schools do better than public schools."</b></i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Again he makes a non sequitur fallacy and makes the leap that it must be religion that is making the difference and just because religious schools are faring better, THEN we must teach religion in public schools. He sites this study to back up his claim: </span><a href="http://www.christianpost.com/news/study-religious-schools-perform-better-than-public-charter-schools-93597/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Religious schools</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> So lets look at this study and look at WHY religious schools may fare better than public schools:</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Parental involvement. I agree. In any school, public or private where parents have a higher rate of involvement, students are going to have a higher rate of success. But what does that have to do with teaching religion in public schools? Again a fallacy, teaching religion in schools has nothing to do with parental involvement and has nothing to do with getting parents to get involved with their children's education.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />2. Private, religious schools get to 'choose' their student body and it is expensive, therefore the students are socio-economically-racially not diverse. Again, what does this have to do with teaching religion in public schools, who take every student and teaching religion is NOT a factor in the success of these students.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />3. There was a behavioral difference between the students in the private sector and the public sector. The private sector students tended to be more respectful to the teachers, less likely to express opinions. The public sector teachers were more likely to allow expression of opinions, the class sizes tended to be larger, and teachers tended to move on to a different subject before the subject had been mastered. Again, all things that have nothing to do with teaching religion.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />SIXTH:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="font-weight: bold;">"It helps kids learn more about themselves"</i> The article he sites states that children are often too self interested. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />I agree that children need to be taught humility, openness, a sense of spirituality, self-discipline, self love, a sense of community. However, I disagree that there is only one way to teach this. I think there are many ways to teach these concepts and teaching religion in schools in not one of them. PTA, Kiwanis, community centers, are just a few of them, and yes, even churches teach these.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><b>"It helps students learn more about themselves</b></i>". The opening abstract of the article he quotes states: </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="a"><i><span style="background: white; border: 1pt none windowtext; letter-spacing: -0.85pt; line-height: 18.399999618530273px; padding: 0in;">Currently, religious education at primary schools in Western Europe has evolved into a subject that </span></i></span><span class="a"><i><span style="background: white; border: 1pt none windowtext; line-height: 18.399999618530273px; padding: 0in;"><span style="word-spacing: 15px;">seeks to support students to develop their religious identity. <a href="http://www.academia.edu/2432730/The_Significance_of_Religious_Education_in_Local_Primary_Schools_Specific_Reference_to_Christianity_" target="_blank">Religious Identity</a></span></span></i></span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In other words, the primary purpose of this study is to teach a religious identity, not a core identity. Religions have Sunday services to do this, this is not the purpose of schools.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />SEVENTH:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><b>"It helps Americans read more."</b></i><br />We are talking about children in schools, right? Then why is Herb quoting data about adults? The article he quotes from is taking data that states 41% of <i style="font-weight: bold;">adults</i> had not read a book....it is not taking data about children. So how does putting bibles in schools going to increase the reading habits of adults? Again, he makes a non sequitur fallacy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />EIGHTH:</span><br />
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"It helps kids develop psychologically."</b></i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Once again, Herb makes another Non Sequitur fallacy, that kids need to believe in something greater than themselves in order to excel, therefore the only way to do that is through teaching religion in schools. He then goes on to link an article that talks about the entitlement trap and the ONLY way to avoid allowing our children to fall into it is to not neglect our children's spiritual development.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">NINTH:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Religious majors are more likely to be unemployed"</b></i>. Again, his line of reasoning is flawed. First, children go to school to get an education in core classes and not to choose a major. They choose a major most of the time in their twenties. Second, if we start to teach to children according to what jobs are available, we will flood those job markets and actually increase the unemployment rate in those areas. We can't all be ministers, now, can we? Who would we preach to?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Also, there are many jobs that have a lower unemployment rate than religious areas...telemarketing for example has a 0% unemployment rate...should we teach telemarketing skills to all our kids in public schools? By Herbs reasoning, we should.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk4oTMhmd4HTO_J8zqS07z0CX47HAAVgGCx7ZE1tFHrDAtmQwLj3zgQ2uFqsI6xazghyphenhyphenxUISflyuGpnmyL1G5fiNbdKm3OM9nzbUgfyWrSWyrJfsrLU07HOixwwctq9Uhqko-Mjkh1L5zu/s1600/DSCN8747.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk4oTMhmd4HTO_J8zqS07z0CX47HAAVgGCx7ZE1tFHrDAtmQwLj3zgQ2uFqsI6xazghyphenhyphenxUISflyuGpnmyL1G5fiNbdKm3OM9nzbUgfyWrSWyrJfsrLU07HOixwwctq9Uhqko-Mjkh1L5zu/s1600/DSCN8747.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
TENTH:<br />
<b><i>"It can further your education"</i></b>. The premise of this article has no basis in fact, there is no data to back this up, however, studying knowledge of all kinds opens the mind, and for college students, taking a college course that studies all religions, I do agree with this article on this topic: "<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Students who concentrate in Religious Studies gain skills in reading analytically, thinking critically, and writing fluently. Because classes are often smaller than in other disciplines" <a href="http://uiswcmsweb.prod.lsu.edu/hss/prs/Why%20Religious%20Studies/What%20Can%20You%20Do%20With%20a%20Degree%20in%20Religious%20Studies/item37796.html" target="_blank">Taking college religion classes</a></span><br />
<br />
ELEVENTH:<br />
<b><i>"It helps American business"</i></b>. Once again, he makes a non sequitur fallacy. The happier employers are, the better business does, and what makes employers happy? Religion, and of course, Christian religion. The problem is, both Herb AND the Washington Post make one of the biggest mistakes made when they look at research...they come to conclusions the research doesn't come to in the original data.<br />
<br />
The research the Washington Post and Herb quote states that what makes people happy is a 'sense of meaning' and 'a sense of well being and comfort' Both The Washington Post and Herb conclude that religion gives us both of those things, <i style="font-weight: bold;">therefore</i> religion is the meaning of happiness. What they fail to realize is that <i><b>many</b></i> things in life can give us a sense of meaning and well being and comfort in life and it can be different for different people. It may be religion for some people, but it may not for others. It may be serving in the Kiwanis for some, it may be relaxing at home for others, it may be vacationing with family for some. You see, seeking happiness is so vast and different, it cannot possibly be the same for every person.<br />
<br />
Allowing people the freedom to seek their own path is what is best for business.<br />
<br />
TWELFTH:<br />
<b><i>"It can knock down depression"</i></b>. There is a link to having social connections and lowering depression. However, there are many studies that show religion increases depression: <a href="http://www.alternet.org/are-religious-people-more-depressed" target="_blank">religious people more depressed</a><br />
<br />
The state of Utah, which has the highest rate of church attendance, also has the highest rate of anti-depressant use: <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2002/feb/20/news/mn-28924" target="_blank">Utah leads nation in anti-depressants</a><br />
<br />
There are many ways to get social needs met, and kids in school get lots of social time at recess, so again it is a fallacy to assume teaching religion in schools will increase social connections.<br />
<br />
Kids are often exposed to girls scouts, boy scouts, karate, gymnastics, and many other classes where they have the opportunity to connect socially.<br />
<br />
Teaching religion in schools is just illegal. I hope we keep religion where it belongs, in churches.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMITRPKtPhULXjSGK6TebL5UIJ5LlTXAdRuXMaSC6NXOiArnbbfHRPHK0nQtfaBjz5x2m-ZUlRgSaYGfqjvXfzKnUfufyf8Mtr2ldfOYGHtr6fT9CnzvgiA3FAwBDlvCV9NzUOTu7OR83N/s1600/DSCN8812.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMITRPKtPhULXjSGK6TebL5UIJ5LlTXAdRuXMaSC6NXOiArnbbfHRPHK0nQtfaBjz5x2m-ZUlRgSaYGfqjvXfzKnUfufyf8Mtr2ldfOYGHtr6fT9CnzvgiA3FAwBDlvCV9NzUOTu7OR83N/s1600/DSCN8812.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span class="a" style="background-color: white; border: none; font-family: ff11, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-style: italic; height: 1px; left: 545px; line-height: 69px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; top: 2036px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: nowrap; word-spacing: 15px;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">seeks to support students to develop their religious identity.</span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-33311173608526492962014-07-14T19:41:00.001-06:002014-07-14T19:41:47.451-06:00Works vs. MoralsI had a Mormon take me on, on my Facebook page. It was the typical tripe I've become used to from Mormons....all problems can be solved by praying, paying tithing, attending the temple. If a person does these things, God will bless them, if a person fails to do these things, God will instill horrible consequences and in my case, I had a case of writers block...<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhORQHNwzzLtd1j52fe0dzNtwh8y3WMKMGBBs0nGiLaZ6RvlYDlZcyBQYtd1quxqQmR_S6nmZ25vs6xkEDtfN9js9XFIla4T5v8ltqT75PQKzXz2f2AcehKw9zNkHqpPetPEmlYZqrZB281/s1600/writers+block.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhORQHNwzzLtd1j52fe0dzNtwh8y3WMKMGBBs0nGiLaZ6RvlYDlZcyBQYtd1quxqQmR_S6nmZ25vs6xkEDtfN9js9XFIla4T5v8ltqT75PQKzXz2f2AcehKw9zNkHqpPetPEmlYZqrZB281/s1600/writers+block.jpg" height="330" width="400" /></a><br />
You heard me...God was giving me a case of writer's block because I haven't paid tithing or attended the <br />
Mormon church in 10 years. I'm trying to think of something that sounds more ridiculous, but I'm have a hard time.<br />
<br />
As the conversation with this Mormon continued, he repeatedly said that he couldn't comprehend people living without Mormon Jesus in their life and how did I even make decisions or find happiness. I repeatedly told him that God didn't make me a moral person, I was born moral.<br />
<br />
As I thought about this concept, it occurred to me that many Mormons grow up being so busy doing their works to get into heaven, they have confused works with morality. Morals consists of being honest, kind, loving, caring, having empathy, respecting life and the choices of others.<br />
<br />
Works that get a Mormon into heaven include paying tithing, attending church and the temple, serving the church through a church calling, doing home teaching. It occurred to me that all this busy work is considered morality by Mormons. A good Mormon is one who does the busy work, not necessarily the Moral work. Mormons are asked about their busy work in order to get into the temple and therefore heaven, but they are not asked about how moral they are.<br />
<br />
The world is full of people who are moral, yet they do not fill their lives with the busy work of being a Mormon. Since Mormons have defined morality by doing busy work, they do not view the world as moral.<br />
<br />
The question remains, how am I a moral person without the Mormon church? Easy, I have time to be kind because I'm not busy preparing a lesson. I have time to serve the local community because I'm not busy with only my church calling. I have time to spend loving time with my family because I'm not busy spending 2 hours in the temple.<br />
<br />
I don't need busy work to be Moral.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-86840411561444420282014-07-11T21:33:00.000-06:002014-07-11T21:33:14.207-06:00Happiness, you pesky emotion, you<div style="text-align: center;">
Happiness</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A person can read all day long about happiness, how to get it, how to keep it. Funny thing, when I was Mormon, there were so many lessons that told us the only people in the world who are happy, are Mormons. We were told the way to be happy, is to pay tithing to the Mormon church, attend the Mormon church, pray to the Mormon god and attend the Mormon temple.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The thing is, I did all that...the more I did it, the more unhappy I became. I was so confused. Why was I increasingly unhappy when I was doing everything I was told to do?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The answer is quite simple, so simple in fact I'm a bit embarrassed that I could not see it as a Mormon. You see, happiness is generated internally. You can't be happy while sacrificing your identity, you can't be happy while living a life someone else sets up for you, you can't be happy when you are not living your authentic self.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I was told that god reserves happiness for ONLY Mormons. Why would any god do that? Would he/she really with hold happiness from 99% of the world, only to allow access to it to .1%? <a href="http://www.pewforum.org/2009/07/24/a-portrait-of-mormons-in-the-us/" target="_blank">Percent of Mormons in world</a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I was told that you can't be happy and angry at the same time, so what do Mormons do? They stuff their emotions down, they are only allowed to express happiness, even though there are a plethora of emotions that we experience everyday. I have learned that people actually can vacillate between multiple emotions in a short amount of time.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I have been told that to express passion about any given subject, it is the same as being angry. I have been told to stop being angry when all I am doing is expressing passion for a certain subject. Passion is not allowed, either.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The word compassion has another word embedded in it, PASSION. To be happy, a person can have compassion, passion and happiness results. It is a world wide emotion, Mormons; and people the world over encompass it.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4EMRFkJqwxYdVHHZsE0TTb5XpJeRuYVQqqSP9aTFf-wfr8jjfATtb2EOpsZfEDjuSvrMMa1gAKjHG0ak3KX6lU7OSfw5ORAoNE73LvxeJrwlQM57H2PyU9j1b66ms7yo_ND3IQxGf9D95/s1600/Dalai+Lama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4EMRFkJqwxYdVHHZsE0TTb5XpJeRuYVQqqSP9aTFf-wfr8jjfATtb2EOpsZfEDjuSvrMMa1gAKjHG0ak3KX6lU7OSfw5ORAoNE73LvxeJrwlQM57H2PyU9j1b66ms7yo_ND3IQxGf9D95/s1600/Dalai+Lama.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-30812271326628856092014-07-08T07:28:00.002-06:002014-07-08T08:29:02.747-06:00The universe does not work the way we were told it does<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">The Book of
Mormon musical probably </span></span><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">didn't</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> intend to be rich with meaning, but it was for
me. I’ll try warn about spoil alerts.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There are
two young men who are called to Uganda, Africa on their Mormon missions. One is
full of himself and ready to change the world through the Mormon gospel. The other one knows his weaknesses and one of
them is he loves to make up stories to fit in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As they are
confronted with a culture and environment that is starkly different than their
own, they must face the realization that their naïve background has not
prepared them for such realities they are facing in the world.</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirbuhWFHezC2wGB3MSxoxAFuslKl7nSsdQPzdTooqWVZC8phhFDQKMb146i3UT7R5zZgq2_mEr-pqwt6dK4E7l-0C7N2johG2s_Jo-uVcSqpISY1NA9yGFbTwuABcWXLw5OFmbGhj51lXo/s1600/32-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirbuhWFHezC2wGB3MSxoxAFuslKl7nSsdQPzdTooqWVZC8phhFDQKMb146i3UT7R5zZgq2_mEr-pqwt6dK4E7l-0C7N2johG2s_Jo-uVcSqpISY1NA9yGFbTwuABcWXLw5OFmbGhj51lXo/s1600/32-2.jpg" height="433" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One of the
things they must face is that we all have myths in our culture. Myths can work
for us or against us. In the African culture, many of their myths work against
them. In America, many of our myths work against us. One of these is a modern
myth. The myth of the anti-vaccers. The myth that vaccines cause Autism,
therefore it causes more harm to vaccine than it does good. This myth has
worked against the herd immunity where those who are vaccinated protect those
who cannot get immunized for health reasons.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many
cultures have myths that do good, for example; myths can teach children the
danger of strangers, to love over hate, to forgive, etc. Many of these lessons
are taught in such stories as Brothers Grimm or nursery rhymes, etc. Societies
run into trouble when myth is taken for reality, such as the flood story or
talking snakes, or Greek and Roman mythology.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How does
taking these myth-stories as literal turn our lives upside down? Because we are
told the Universe works one way, but when we begin to live life, it turns out
to work another way. We become disillusioned, we lose hope in life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If we
believe them to be myths, we can seek out a different myth that works with our
situation to help find an answer, rather than trying to fit our life situation
with the myth/belief.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">For example,
when we are told that if we follow one path and do X, Y, and Z, then A,B and C
will inevitably follow. What happens when A,B, and C do NOT follow? Our world
is shattered, We do what we are told but
the pieces to not fall into place. The problem </span></span><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">isn't</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> with us, its with the
myth…we were following the wrong myth.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Take this
for example. Let’s say that our life’s plan is to follow Hansel and
Gretel. We go along the path, we eat the
house, our brother eats the house, gets put in the oven, but rather than getting
saved, he dies! That </span></span><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">wasn't</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> in the story! He was supposed to live! What
happened? You followed the plot, you did what you were supposed to, but the end </span><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">didn't</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> turn out right. So you end up with a faith crisis. Nobody told you it </span><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">wasn't</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> REAL! Nobody told you to switch myths and to switch to the fairy tale about the infertile Queen and snake: <a href="http://www.talkingaboutmenshealth.com/an-adult-fairy-tale-for-understanding-grief-work/" target="_blank">Grief and the Snake</a> and
learn from her how to grieve loss.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Myths </span><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">aren't</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"> real, but they are supposed to teach us life lessons. If we take them
literally, then we get lost in life.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Some of my
favorite myths are Winnie the Pooh. The author wrote them specifically to teach
life lessons. We learn of friendship, love, acceptance and that life just </span></span><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">doesn't</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> work out the way we expect, but we move on anyway, we love people when
they are cranky and depressed and make bad choices.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">If the myth </span><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">isn't</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> fitting your life, change myths, don’t stick with the one that </span></span><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">isn't</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> working for you; that is how the Universe works.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPfQmZPPJiBH6eZtBevng72B4FlDwQA5_llNryK2MoVQIfXvGuJPeWplrSK-PR1D4s-lvBElSZTZlRQKog9Z7MgflE0_JuKSM5Ghj2zaALzFJIWKHys7yaTOpnbe0-JjBI3PBmmfGhyphenhyphencTJ/s1600/17-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPfQmZPPJiBH6eZtBevng72B4FlDwQA5_llNryK2MoVQIfXvGuJPeWplrSK-PR1D4s-lvBElSZTZlRQKog9Z7MgflE0_JuKSM5Ghj2zaALzFJIWKHys7yaTOpnbe0-JjBI3PBmmfGhyphenhyphencTJ/s1600/17-2.jpg" height="452" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-73772764305322096562014-07-07T06:56:00.001-06:002014-07-07T06:57:50.894-06:00I'm now a Lamanite<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m now a
Lamanite. Yep, that’s right. You see,
the Book of Mormon teaches that there are two groups of people, the Nephites
and the Lamanites. The Nephites are a righteous people who are white and
delightsome. They follow the prophets, they are an industrious people, they
till the earth and build cities. Their form of government is like a democracy,
where they elect judges to rule over them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Lamanites, on the other hand, are dark and evil. They don’t listen to the
prophets and therefore they have a dark skin. They tend to flocks and hunt
beasts, but they don’t till the earth.
They are loathsome, lazy. The
Lamanites were always held up as a consequence of what would happen to the
people who apostatized from the Mormon church.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqgLw7EoHQCT1f67TNu-17fmyR8oOao2RqgX7Kddmt383R0ZEzzBENtPvLg2EX-f9D1_lL1-652tTMeYWEM32gGjEn3BRUZeUFUeO1ElGrLaHFKT_WtNEApTnGGRMooM14TfS3fQMsUakc/s1600/lamanite2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqgLw7EoHQCT1f67TNu-17fmyR8oOao2RqgX7Kddmt383R0ZEzzBENtPvLg2EX-f9D1_lL1-652tTMeYWEM32gGjEn3BRUZeUFUeO1ElGrLaHFKT_WtNEApTnGGRMooM14TfS3fQMsUakc/s1600/lamanite2.jpg" height="640" width="497" /></a><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Many Mormon
prophets said that the Native Americans would have their skins turn white and
delightsome as they became god’s people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the last
ten years, Marlin K. Jenson, the church’s historian has said the church is
experiencing the largest apostasy since the days of the Kirkland bank collapse.
<a href="http://mormon-chronicles.blogspot.com/2012/02/discussion-of-mormon-apostasy-spreads.html" target="_blank">Jenson admitting people are leaving in droves</a>I am one of those apostates. I have been out of the church for about 10 years.
While I am doing fine financially, my skin is not getting any darker over the
years, and I have not turned into a lazy beast hunter, I wonder where my curse
from god is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Many of my
friends are also apostates. They too have not had a curse of loathsome
laziness, of becoming beast hunters, or having their skin darkened. They seem
to be financially where they were when they left the church and often better
off. Where is this curse the Book of
Mormon speaks of? Certainly 10 years is long enough for god to place his curse
on us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Certainly
god is the same yesterday, today and forever. If he is going to curse one
generation, he will curse another one.
What does this mean if we aren’t cursed? Could it mean the curse was the
musings of man? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Could it
mean that? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-20651792652896284452014-06-29T23:12:00.000-06:002014-06-29T23:12:14.096-06:00The need for ExclusivityThe women in the Mormon church will never be given the opportunity to be ordained to the priesthood. When it really comes down to it, in order for the priesthood to be something special, exclusive, unique; it must be withheld from a group and given to only another.<br />
<br />
In all other Christian religions, only a select few receive the special privilege of being ordained. Even in many religions, such as the Community of Christ church, that ordains women, a person must still seek out ordination then go through years of training to be a clergy. It is held for only a select few and other religions are able to keep the clergy club selective by requiring years of study in theology, family therapy, etc. before they are called to serve.<br />
<br />
The big mistake the Mormon church made was in making their exclusive club open to all males over the age of 13. This provided no foresight for women one day wanting to be let into the club.<br />
<br />
There are some major changes the church can make to revamp the system to one of exclusivity while at the same time, allowing women in. Some possibilities include raising the age of the Aaronic priesthood to 18 (historically, the age of 12 wasn't set until 1908, so there is historical precedent to changing the age limit.) <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaronic_priesthood_(Latter_Day_Saints)#History" target="_blank">historical age of aaronic priesthood</a><br />
<br />
The church can make the ordination to the Melchizedek priesthood a temporary ordination, for example only for those who are called as bishops or other callings, and then when they are released from the calling, they are released from the Melchizedek priesthood, also.<br />
<br />
The church can follow the lead of other Christian churches and abolish the lay priesthood and have people ordained who have a degree in theology and counseling.<br />
<br />
I'm certain there are other possibilities, these are just a few off the top of my head. The point is, the church can include women while at the same time keeping the mormon priesthood exclusive. Just my .02<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUqx8mtE4UzZOCovY2IFRsPFXs27qxsYdHjx9TnUbHrfyyDy210R2MMTI8-nn3tri_1-5XowIpXsZzRii2fXqgFbgwPN3Zb6NlybBs_7oVIsEo534j7Nx-fZeCcP2f0H4bGtRbebmPahxf/s1600/good+things.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUqx8mtE4UzZOCovY2IFRsPFXs27qxsYdHjx9TnUbHrfyyDy210R2MMTI8-nn3tri_1-5XowIpXsZzRii2fXqgFbgwPN3Zb6NlybBs_7oVIsEo534j7Nx-fZeCcP2f0H4bGtRbebmPahxf/s1600/good+things.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-57793431651208589312014-06-28T08:41:00.000-06:002014-06-28T09:03:04.613-06:00Blog Wars<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Over the last several weeks, there has been a blog war over Kate Kelly. The Mormon women have been vocal about all the reasons Kate and other feminists are wrong and the feminists will fire back, point for point. I'm exhausted trying to keep up with all of it. As someone who left the Mormon church in part because I could find no place for me, a woman inside the church, I cannot be exactly objective. As a woman who has suffered from domestic abuse, I have no desire to be objective. I do believe I have a unique perspective and wish my Mormon family and friends would stop the vitriol long enough to listen; drop their defenses and just listen.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u>Benevolent Sexism</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Mormon church as well as the bloggers have been very clear about the roles that women should play; its written right there for all the world to read in the Proclamation on the Family: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <span style="color: blue;"> <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px;">By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: cyan; line-height: 22px;"> <a href="https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation" target="_blank">proclamation</a></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #39362d; line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">The issue then becomes one of Benevolent sexism. Both men and women are guilty of this. This is the belief that women are kinder, gentler, more moral, better nurturers than men and as such deserve to be put on pedestals. People who believe in benevolent sexism think highly of women, but only as long as women conform to the expectations imposed upon them. Once women step outside the roles expected of them, wrath comes down on them (just like the Mormon women bloggers saying Kate *deserved* to be excommunicated). It reminds me of crabs in a pot, pulling down the crabs who try to climb out.</span></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirbB7YdHlAtwNkWu2ZRf00L0Xf5B3lbWfWnjBNVHzrl4t4HSp-wTG7rvrDi7YtmWigzs53v5Bx2VueK8vVADtH23uMaoinI4n_4EkdhCPytmEw2pnTRGkCzZojBLqDnRcz3TtCe83DrbIX/s1600/DSCN7546.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirbB7YdHlAtwNkWu2ZRf00L0Xf5B3lbWfWnjBNVHzrl4t4HSp-wTG7rvrDi7YtmWigzs53v5Bx2VueK8vVADtH23uMaoinI4n_4EkdhCPytmEw2pnTRGkCzZojBLqDnRcz3TtCe83DrbIX/s1600/DSCN7546.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #39362d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">Notice all the crab legs pulled off by other crabs who tried to climb out? That's how vicious the crabs are; and not too far off from how vicious the women are that are attacking Kate for wanting something so humanly basic as equality.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #39362d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Benevolent sexism rewards women when they conform and punishes women when they step outside their assigned roles or expectations.<span style="color: #39362d;"> </span><a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/10/111004121314.htm" style="color: #39362d;" target="_blank">benevolent sexism</a></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><b><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stockholm Syndrome</span></u></b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #39362d; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
At the same time that I have been processing my experience with domestic abuse (I was strangled by the man who proclaimed his love for me), this movement has been gaining momentum within the Mormon church, called ‘Ordain Women’ to change the all male priesthood within the Mormon church to include women. As I watch and marvel at this, I also wonder at the war of words. I wonder, why do so many women not only stay in abuse, but defend it?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have often wondered about my sisters; I have chosen to distance myself from my father as he continues to abuse my mother and my sisters. My sisters stay and take the abuse, calling the abuse such things as ornery, or mean spirited, ass hole, grumpy, crotchety, rather than what it really is…abuse. He was so abusive to the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hospital staff at his last stay; they refused to keep him and sent him home before he was well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why…why do so many people stay in abuse? As we look at all the situations mentioned and see if Stockholm syndrome could be an explanation, there must be four conditions at play:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. There is a perceived threat to the physical or physiological well being of the individual.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As to my sisters, they believe that families are forever, and that the father is the leader of the family and will become a god…therefore showing him the same respect that is due god is paramount to respecting god, no matter how abusive he is. If that respect isn’t shown, their eternal reward is at risk. This is a real physiological threat to their eternal well being.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To the women who wish to have equality within the Mormon church, they stay rather than leave because they believe their eternal salvation is tied to staying. Mormons believe that in order to be together as families in the eternities, they must pay tithing, they must be married in the Mormon temples, they must submit to Mormon authorities. There is no admission into the eternities without these conditions, these are the questions asked to get into the temple, and temple attendance is required in order to make it into Mormon heaven. There is no questioning the leaders within the Mormon church, even if there is contradiction within the self with what the leaders say and do....compliance is paramount to entering heaven. <a href="http://www.lds-mormon.com/veilworker/recommend.shtml" target="_blank">temple recommend questions</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Women who are abused by their significant others are made to believe that their very existence depends on obeying him. He has supreme power over life and death. They are made aware of this every time he beats them, every time he threatens them, every time he rapes them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Small Act of kindness extended interpreted as change:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I see my sisters give my Dad so many excuses, he had a hard childhood, he is softening in his old age, life has been hard on him; they try and minimize his abuse when he is kind to the grandkids but overlook the physical fight he had with his wife the night before where he pushed her to the floor.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The women in the Mormon church do this when they are happy that the church leadership finally allows women to say prayers at the general assembly for the first time in history, or they put pictures of the women leaders next to the male leaders. This is like throwing crumbs to the dogs, yet the women are so happy to have the smallest bit of kindness thrown their way, they can’t see it for what it is; scraps thrown to them to keep them quiet and compliant. No real change and still no equality.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Women who are abused are happy when the abuser doesn't hit them when they are late from work one night and they see this as real change. They are happy when he buys them earrings; but fail to realize this is apology jewelry for the bruise he left on her thigh the night before when he kicked her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. The Abuser will isolate the abused from outside help:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My family has done a good job of this with me. I am considered a black sheep, a thorn in their side, and a pebble in their shoe. My brothers have done a great job in making me an example of how others in the family will be treated if they too, leave the Mormon church or exercise their freedom to choose a different path. I have been completely isolated from having any influence on the family. I have been told by my patriarchal brothers to stop writing my blog, as it may have a negative influence on my family.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With the Ordain Women movement, the ex-Mormon community has been vilified so we won’t have any influence over them or the members of the church. We have been called evil, that we are going to outer darkness, that to even wear pants to church will lead to going to hell. In this way, Mormon family will not seek us out when they have concerns about doctrine, women's issues, or when leadership matters come up because we have been deemed untrustworthy.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Women who are abused are isolated from family and friends because the abuser will punish her any time she seeks help or guidance. The beatings will increase any time she confides in family. It is easier on her if she isolates herself from concerned family. The abusers says the family members are interfering and causing problems through their nosiness; so it is easier for the abused to distance themselves rather than be harassed by the abuser.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. Perceived inability to escape:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With my sisters, there is no way of escape. This is life; this is the way god intended it to be. They are told to ‘Endure to the End’ that life will be better in the eternities; their reward awaits them for their suffering in this life. There is no escaping the pain and sorrow of this life. They are told they chose their pains and sorrows and they should happily endure them to the end of their life. How does a person escape what they are told they chose?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With the women in the Mormon church, they, too feel they must endure to the end. They believe the Mormon church is god’s church, if only misguided temporarily. If they only endure, they will get their reward, a reward that can only come if they stay within the Mormon church. If they leave, they will suffer losing their family in the eternities.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With women who are in domestic violence, they too feel as though there is no escape. With me, J*** made attempts to make me financially dependent on him by talking me into a home I couldn't afford on my own. When I left him after the strangulation, he made me suffer by forcing me to lose the house in foreclosure. I payed a heavy financial price for standing up for myself. Many women are stay at home Mom’s who have little or no job skills. Many women feel if they leave, he will kill them or take away their children. My ex husband had threatened suicide if I went through with divorce. Depression is common and having the strength to leave is difficult.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The more I have learned, the more frustrated I have become at the institutions that support the perpetuation of Stockholm syndrome and benevolent sexism.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd9NnQULpr0UE0QSvueDEwPpmv90b2drWG9sQCEAqbKdG0EkusIwDXw6XLQY8C_eNdk5ier0t4pRuR2r7s6tXnSm_SLE-oAJhEnltavuYfBAdoWUgHzq1UTeDsrsH8K9vPy2xpsg_EFvFX/s1600/DSCN7442.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd9NnQULpr0UE0QSvueDEwPpmv90b2drWG9sQCEAqbKdG0EkusIwDXw6XLQY8C_eNdk5ier0t4pRuR2r7s6tXnSm_SLE-oAJhEnltavuYfBAdoWUgHzq1UTeDsrsH8K9vPy2xpsg_EFvFX/s1600/DSCN7442.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-43125895172871007252014-06-17T06:52:00.001-06:002014-06-18T08:08:55.102-06:00Equality and Apostasy<div class="vk_ans" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: xx-large !important; font-weight: lighter !important; margin-bottom: 0px;">
<span data-dobid="hdw">a·pos·ta·sy</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 15.600000381469727px;">
<div class="lr_dct_ent_ph" style="font-size: large;">
<span class="lr_dct_ph">əˈpästəsē/</span><span class="lr_dct_spkr lr_dct_spkr_off" data-log-string="pronunciation-icon-click" jsaction="dob.p" style="display: inline-block; height: 16px; margin: 0px 2px 4px 5px; opacity: 0.55; vertical-align: middle; width: 16px;" title="Listen"><input height="14" src="data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAA4AAAAOCAQAAAC1QeVaAAAAi0lEQVQokWNgQAYyQFzGsIJBnwED8DNcBpK+DM8YfjMUokqxMRxg+A9m8TJsBLLSEFKMDCuBAv/hCncxfGWQhUn2gaVAktkMXkBSHmh0OwNU8D9csoHhO4MikN7BcAGb5H+GYiDdCTQYq2QubkkkY/E6CLtXdiJ7BTMQMnAHXxFm6IICvhwY8AYQLgCw2U9d90B8BAAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==" type="image" width="14" /></span></div>
<div>
<div class="lr_dct_sf_h" style="padding-top: 10px;">
<i>noun</i></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd vk_gy" data-mh="-1" style="-webkit-transition: max-height 0.3s; color: rgb(135, 135, 135) !important; max-height: 0px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s;">
<b></b><b></b></div>
<ol class="lr_dct_sf_sens" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;">
<li style="border: 0px; line-height: 1.2; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="lr_dct_sf_sen vk_txt" style="font-weight: lighter !important; padding-top: 10px;">
<div style="margin-left: 20px;">
<div style="margin-left: -20px;">
<div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;">
the abandonment or renunciation of a religious or political belief.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</li>
</ol>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
Kate Kelly is facing Mormon church discipline for apostasy. The person in the Mormon church who apparently is leading this is William Clayton of the Quorum of the Seventy in the Mormon church. Here is a quote from a news source, "<span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.799999237060547px;">Clayton reportedly said that public advocacy of ordination is an act of apostasy." <a href="http://www.kutv.com/news/top-stories/stories/vid_12001.shtml?wap=0" target="_blank">apostasy</a></span><br />
<br />
What I find interesting, is for Kate to be accused of apostasy for espousing a belief that women should be ordained to the priesthood, there needs to first be a doctrine against women having the priesthood.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I have read the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants, which makes up the doctrines of the Mormon church. In neither book does it state that women cannot seek equality or ordination to the priesthood. I would like to know what the movement, Ordain Women are apostatizing against. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Where in Mormon church doctrine does is specifically state that women cannot be ordained to the priesthood? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I want to know specifically what they are being accused of? If they are being accused of apostasy, where does church doctrine state they they cannot seek equality?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzkg4u9Bd5st8QfEKPZvrPCpgSCizUEDxClzpyAOFVY7DvjhSktkaQYxy_G9xfBT5uXrkl7lSeETnTQNmuUlOK0S5R3YxNP4c5bNU4OSorUfnE531EHNcHrt9BHL5bNmsMjs2p_KnAsOUP/s1600/women+don't+matter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzkg4u9Bd5st8QfEKPZvrPCpgSCizUEDxClzpyAOFVY7DvjhSktkaQYxy_G9xfBT5uXrkl7lSeETnTQNmuUlOK0S5R3YxNP4c5bNU4OSorUfnE531EHNcHrt9BHL5bNmsMjs2p_KnAsOUP/s1600/women+don't+matter.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-32287837414752249222014-06-12T08:39:00.000-06:002014-06-12T16:37:10.543-06:00Here's to all the Loss...and GainsI wish I could express in words all the loss I have come to know over the last ten years since I have made the choice to leave the Mormon church. In the Buddha tradition, they teach you that the only way past pain, is through it. You cannot deny pain, you cannot avoid it, you must walk through it. And so, I have become deeply acquainted with pain over the last several years as I have dealt with loss.<br />
<br />
When I made the choice to walk away from the Mormon church, I knew that so many people would not stand with me or support me. I knew it would mean the loss of my marriage, the loss of my belief in my eternal family, the loss of all my friends, as they were all Mormon. I waited for well over three years to tell my extended family about my decision because I knew it would be devastating to them.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwfxbYiLQPJmp1udMNYB5VH0i4hj-TBSyASLJNPOAohwoULIZGR-WkxA2XMS9zG2UgrjS8o2ly75cTTCKxQxMit6LGiDOVtX2PB0Xwh65ZfC9Nmr18fjYuGY52ndts2Jb24pE-7BwnbUp0/s1600/Never+too+late.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwfxbYiLQPJmp1udMNYB5VH0i4hj-TBSyASLJNPOAohwoULIZGR-WkxA2XMS9zG2UgrjS8o2ly75cTTCKxQxMit6LGiDOVtX2PB0Xwh65ZfC9Nmr18fjYuGY52ndts2Jb24pE-7BwnbUp0/s1600/Never+too+late.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
I didn't know how badly my extended family would take it.<br />
<br />
My loss has been almost complete. My children have left the Mormon church, and that has been the biggest blessing to me, as I see them living happy, normal lives.<br />
<br />
I have had to learn so many things as an adult that I should have learned as a child. I have had to learn to regulate my emotions rather than stuff them down. I have had to learn to communicate with people rather than be passive aggressive and then stuff down my frustration of not being able to communicate. I have had to learn to hold down a job, to learn that there is no such thing as perfection, to live with imperfection in myself and others rather than pretend perfection exists, to let things go, to be authentic rather than have unrealistic expectations based on the belief that people are perfect. I had to learn to set boundaries, I have had to learn to say NO! and yes, and be okay with love and hate and real emotions like jealousy and joy.<br />
<br />
These are all things I wasn't taught to do, growing up in a religion that didn't allow authenticity. I wasn't taught or allowed to do or be any of these things. It has been difficult to learn these things, but it has also been freeing to be able to learn them, to be able to freely express myself, to be me.<br />
<br />
Yes, Rock, and Kate and John, I feel your loss as you face excommunication. It is a great loss. I hope you know you have friends. I hope more than anything you also know there is so much to gain also.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824132140476033575.post-67507232261609002922014-06-11T19:32:00.001-06:002014-06-12T19:45:31.786-06:00I am NOT the enemyToday, the Mormon church announced that it will be holding excommunication counsels against the two most prominent voices in the moderate movements within the Mormon church, that of Kate Kelly and John Dehlin. there are others, but they haven't gone public, so to respect their privacy, I'll not be naming them.<br />
<br />
I am both happy and sad about these announcements. I am happy because these inevitable excommunications will bring to light the rigid and arrogant views of the Mormon leaders, how impossible it is to affect change within an organization I could no longer be a part of because of these reasons. I am also sad <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxZjtuUXPlgHt6M8VRDOf9wBLp82UKGG3mANm31YuG0a-4mI0QzCFCvanmwthkfgEVNrmVKVhBRwzI7JCv4dixIjNpbseepTPPD2F0R8nXGiF71jxTmtnG4zE01BFegFfSC4kTiI2cASWk/s1600/Do+all+things+with+love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxZjtuUXPlgHt6M8VRDOf9wBLp82UKGG3mANm31YuG0a-4mI0QzCFCvanmwthkfgEVNrmVKVhBRwzI7JCv4dixIjNpbseepTPPD2F0R8nXGiF71jxTmtnG4zE01BFegFfSC4kTiI2cASWk/s1600/Do+all+things+with+love.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
because it will also mean it will be harder to bring the Mormon church into a more moderate stance.<br />
<br />
I do not view the leaders of the church as infallible, as this should be obvious by their ability to change doctrine with every whim of pressure that is put on the church. I am confused by those within the church who continue to view the church as error-free.<br />
<br />
I am very concerned for the LGBT community within the church and the women who view the church as god's church and yet are conflicted within themselves because they personally desire equality, a voice, choice, to feel heard. They are losing the opportunity to have access to these. I am sorry for those who desire to attend church without guilt or derision.<br />
<br />
I remember how difficult it was for me to leave, how conflicted I was, how confused I was, how utterly hopeless I felt. I had hopes that many others would feel they could stay and find some sort of middle ground and now that hope is lost.<br />
<br />
The leaders within the Mormon church have so convincingly told the members that we, the ones who have somehow found a way out that we are the enemy, that our family and friends will not look to us as a way to find a way out of their conflict, their confusion, their hopelessness.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.63636302947998px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">"I did not like the old man being called up for erring in doctrine. It looks too much like the Methodist, and not like the Latter-day Saints. Methodists have creeds which a man must believe or be asked out of their church. I want the liberty of thinking and believing as I please. It feels so good not to be trammeled. It does not prove that a man is not a good man because he errs in doctrine."</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.63636302947998px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.63636302947998px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">-- </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">Joseph Smith, History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints, ed. B. H. Roberts, 2nd ed. rev. (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1957), 5:340.</span></div>
<br />
We are not the enemy, but there is no way for us to convince our loved ones of that. What I find ironic, is that an organization that is worth billions of dollars is afraid of people like me. Why? Why would they be so afraid of a few people who write blogs and host podcasts? Why are they so afraid that they must threaten excommunication? That is what the Mormons should be asking.<br />
<br />
I am not the enemy, Mormons, your own dogma is.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0