When I was a child, I was put in a program where a college student worked with me once a week. I don't know why I was put in this program or what the purpose was. I was very shy, I suppose she was supposed to help me with my shyness, I don't know; this isn't really the point.
One day, she took me to her apartment and fixed me some Tang. I didn't know what Tang was, I only knew that I had never tasted it before since my Mom never bought it for our family. I had somehow gotten the impression that if my Mom didn't buy it for our family, it was bad and wrong. I told the college student I couldn't drink it because it was bad for me. She was incredulous and asked what was bad about it. I couldn't tell, her, only that my Mom never bought it.
I realize now, that I had put it in the same category as tea and coffee and cigarettes and alcohol. Why? Because of the mind of a child; if my family didn't consume it, it must be bad for you. I perceived it as bad because it wasn't in our home.
I grew up in a church that taught me that drinking tea and coffee and wine is bad for you. They placed a value on it that I accepted because they told me to. Even when I would read things in the news that contradicted what I was told, my perceptions didn't change.
Then one day, I grew up and decided that I was capable of changing my perceptions. As I opened my mind to different perceptions, I read and studied and learned that it was okay to value things differently than what I was taught as a child.
I changed my perceptions.
I was told by those in my former religion that I was a sinner.
I told them no, I had only changed my perceptions.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Communication Styles
How to communicate; lesson I
When they ask a question, give an answer or ask a question if unsure of what is asked.
lesson II
When they make a statement, listen.
lesson III
When they give an opinion, respect it.
lesson IV
When they cry, act upset, nervous, ask questions to discover why.
lesson V
When a problem arises, look for solutions.
How to create barriers, lesson I
When they ask a question, demand what they are asking or tell them they are wrong for asking a stupid question or call them names.
lesson II
When they make a statement, tell them they are wrong for making such a stupid or erroneous statement, roll your eyes.
lesson III
When they give an opinion, show contempt for their opinion and demean it, walk away, show disgust.
lesson IV
When they cry, act upset, nervous; fold your arms, turn your head away, cross your legs, walk out on them.
lesson V
When a problem arises, show anger for your partner and let them know that the problem is theirs alone to solve or blame them.
If you want to assure a divorce, the best way is negative communication styles: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-hughes/why-do-happy-newlyweds-ev_b_1269205.html?ref=divorce
Here is the best quote from the article: "Although there were no differences in the degree of positive communication, there were notable differences in negative communication patterns. Couples who eventually divorced displayed more anger and contempt for their partners. When solving problems, they were more likely to disagree, and blame and invalidate the feelings of each other."
This was the single most defining moments in what led to my divorce. I was tired of being marginalized, walked out on, being told that every problem was mine alone to be solved, and that my emotions didn't count.
When they ask a question, give an answer or ask a question if unsure of what is asked.
lesson II
When they make a statement, listen.
lesson III
When they give an opinion, respect it.
lesson IV
When they cry, act upset, nervous, ask questions to discover why.
lesson V
When a problem arises, look for solutions.
How to create barriers, lesson I
When they ask a question, demand what they are asking or tell them they are wrong for asking a stupid question or call them names.
lesson II
When they make a statement, tell them they are wrong for making such a stupid or erroneous statement, roll your eyes.
lesson III
When they give an opinion, show contempt for their opinion and demean it, walk away, show disgust.
lesson IV
When they cry, act upset, nervous; fold your arms, turn your head away, cross your legs, walk out on them.
lesson V
When a problem arises, show anger for your partner and let them know that the problem is theirs alone to solve or blame them.
If you want to assure a divorce, the best way is negative communication styles: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-hughes/why-do-happy-newlyweds-ev_b_1269205.html?ref=divorce
Here is the best quote from the article: "Although there were no differences in the degree of positive communication, there were notable differences in negative communication patterns. Couples who eventually divorced displayed more anger and contempt for their partners. When solving problems, they were more likely to disagree, and blame and invalidate the feelings of each other."
This was the single most defining moments in what led to my divorce. I was tired of being marginalized, walked out on, being told that every problem was mine alone to be solved, and that my emotions didn't count.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Help the Living
There has been a lot written lately about the morg's baptisms for the dead. I do not like the practice.
I disagree with the requirement for baptism as a requirement to be saved for the living, why do the dead have to be baptized?
Here is a link to a PDF that summerizes the history of how the Mormon church is linked to a group called the Campbellites: http://www.njiat.com/JunePDFs/Campbellism%20and%20the%20Church%20of%20Christ%2004_30_09.pdf
In this, it is detailed why baptism is not necessary for salvation. If baptism is not necessary for the living, it is not necessary for the dead. Here is direct quotes for the above link:
The Reasons Why Baptism Is Not Essential for Salvation
2. Jesus never baptized anyone. If baptism is essential for salvation, then Jesus
never saved anyone.
3. Paul did not view baptism as part of the Gospel (1 Cor: 1:14-17).
4 John’s baptism did not save anyone, even though it was “unto remission of
sins” (Mk.1:4; cf. Acts 19:1-5).
5. Since there is only one God, there is only one way of salvation (Rom 3:28-30).
This means that whatever is necessary for salvation today was also necessary
during O.T. times.
6. The Gospel of justification by faith alone apart from obedience to God’s
commands is taught in both O.T. and the N.T. (Rom 1:1-2).
Abraham: before the Law (Rom 1:1-2).
David: after the Law (Rom. 4:6-8)
Habakkuk: in the Prophets (Rom. 1:17)
7. Baptism is the N.T. parallel of circumcision, just as the Lord’s Supper is the
parallel of the Passover (Col. 2:11-12). Since circumcision was not essential for
salvation, then neither is baptism.
8. Abraham was saved before he was circumcised in order to emphasize that
salvation was by faith alone apart from obedience to God’s commands, and
that the Gentiles would be saved by faith alone apart from obedience to any
command such as baptism (Rom. 4:9-11, 16, 23-5:2).
9. Cornelius was saved and baptized by the Holy Spirit before he was baptized
(Acts 10:44-48). This passage clearly refutes baptismal regeneration.
10. Baptismal regeneration:
a) makes salvation depend on the availability of water
b) makes salvation depend on the availability of a Campbellite preacher
c) confuses the symbol with the reality
d) makes faith and obedience the same thing
e) is based on a superstitious and magical view of baptism.
11. The thief on the cross was saved without baptism. The Campbellite argument
that he was saved under the O.T. way of salvation is not possible, seeing that
Christ had already died on the cross and finished the atonement before the thief
died. The thief belongs on the N.T. side of the cross, and not on the O.T. side.
What if the mormon church used the millions and millions of dollars it spends to build and run its temples on helping people who are alive, to build water wells in Africa, to build housing in Haiti, to feel the poor?
I disagree with the requirement for baptism as a requirement to be saved for the living, why do the dead have to be baptized?
Here is a link to a PDF that summerizes the history of how the Mormon church is linked to a group called the Campbellites: http://www.njiat.com/JunePDFs/Campbellism%20and%20the%20Church%20of%20Christ%2004_30_09.pdf
In this, it is detailed why baptism is not necessary for salvation. If baptism is not necessary for the living, it is not necessary for the dead. Here is direct quotes for the above link:
The Reasons Why Baptism Is Not Essential for Salvation
2. Jesus never baptized anyone. If baptism is essential for salvation, then Jesus
never saved anyone.
3. Paul did not view baptism as part of the Gospel (1 Cor: 1:14-17).
4 John’s baptism did not save anyone, even though it was “unto remission of
sins” (Mk.1:4; cf. Acts 19:1-5).
5. Since there is only one God, there is only one way of salvation (Rom 3:28-30).
This means that whatever is necessary for salvation today was also necessary
during O.T. times.
6. The Gospel of justification by faith alone apart from obedience to God’s
commands is taught in both O.T. and the N.T. (Rom 1:1-2).
Abraham: before the Law (Rom 1:1-2).
David: after the Law (Rom. 4:6-8)
Habakkuk: in the Prophets (Rom. 1:17)
7. Baptism is the N.T. parallel of circumcision, just as the Lord’s Supper is the
parallel of the Passover (Col. 2:11-12). Since circumcision was not essential for
salvation, then neither is baptism.
8. Abraham was saved before he was circumcised in order to emphasize that
salvation was by faith alone apart from obedience to God’s commands, and
that the Gentiles would be saved by faith alone apart from obedience to any
command such as baptism (Rom. 4:9-11, 16, 23-5:2).
9. Cornelius was saved and baptized by the Holy Spirit before he was baptized
(Acts 10:44-48). This passage clearly refutes baptismal regeneration.
10. Baptismal regeneration:
a) makes salvation depend on the availability of water
b) makes salvation depend on the availability of a Campbellite preacher
c) confuses the symbol with the reality
d) makes faith and obedience the same thing
e) is based on a superstitious and magical view of baptism.
11. The thief on the cross was saved without baptism. The Campbellite argument
that he was saved under the O.T. way of salvation is not possible, seeing that
Christ had already died on the cross and finished the atonement before the thief
died. The thief belongs on the N.T. side of the cross, and not on the O.T. side.
What if the mormon church used the millions and millions of dollars it spends to build and run its temples on helping people who are alive, to build water wells in Africa, to build housing in Haiti, to feel the poor?
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Not Good for Women VII
Progressive, forward thinking, working women, artists. The mormon ads portray the women in the mormon church as all of these things. Yet, is this really the belief of the leaders and doctrine in the church?
Try on this latest quote:
Try on this latest quote:
"The most important thing for a woman in this life is to be the wife of a worthy
priesthood holder and the mother of his children."
"We know that every father can, or should be, an officer in the priesthood,
meaning that he holds the priesthood and presides over his family in
righteousness."
Boyd K. Packer
Saturday, February 11, 2012http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/worldwide-leadership-training/2012/02/priesthood-power-in-the-home?lang=eng
Note the date.
The man presides OVER his family. Wow. Not the words that translate into equality.
Not the attitude of a progressive church that treats women as equals.
priesthood holder and the mother of his children."
"We know that every father can, or should be, an officer in the priesthood,
meaning that he holds the priesthood and presides over his family in
righteousness."
Boyd K. Packer
Saturday, February 11, 2012http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/worldwide-leadership-training/2012/02/priesthood-power-in-the-home?lang=eng
Note the date.
The man presides OVER his family. Wow. Not the words that translate into equality.
Not the attitude of a progressive church that treats women as equals.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Not of God?
I stopped believing in the infallibility of the leaders. I stopped attending the temple. I then stopped attending church on a regular basis. I stopped reading all the church publications. I then stopped paying tithing. Leaving was a process for me, not an event.
Part of me wanted to still believe. Part of me wanted to one day return, because I knew nothing else. Then I saw a video on the Book of Abraham. After that, I knew there was no going back. I knew it was all a fraud. I could not live a fraud.
Do you know what it means to publish peer reviewed articles and books? "Peer Review is a process that journals use to ensure the articles they publish represent the best scholarship currently available. When an article is submitted to a peer reviewed journal, the editors send it out to other scholars in the same field (the author's peers) to get their opinion on the quality of the scholarship, its relevance to the field, its appropriateness for the journal, etc.
Part of me wanted to still believe. Part of me wanted to one day return, because I knew nothing else. Then I saw a video on the Book of Abraham. After that, I knew there was no going back. I knew it was all a fraud. I could not live a fraud.
Do you know what it means to publish peer reviewed articles and books? "Peer Review is a process that journals use to ensure the articles they publish represent the best scholarship currently available. When an article is submitted to a peer reviewed journal, the editors send it out to other scholars in the same field (the author's peers) to get their opinion on the quality of the scholarship, its relevance to the field, its appropriateness for the journal, etc.
Publications that don't use peer review (Time, Cosmo, Salon) just rely on the judgement of the editors whether an article is up to snuff or not. That's why you can't count on them for solid, scientific scholarship.http://www.lib.utexas.edu/lsl/help/modules/peer.html
The mormon scholars do not use peer reviews to establish articles, opinions, facts, etc. they publish on DNA, archaeology, BofM or PofGP research they publish. Why is this important? Because it then cannot be verified or substantiated.
"Robert K. Ritner is currently Professor of Egyptology at the Oriental Instituteof the University of Chicago and was from 1991-1996 the first Marilyn M. Simpson Assistant Professor of Egyptology at Yale University. Dr. Ritner specializes in Roman, Hellenistic, Late and Third Intermediate Period (Libyan and Nubian) Egypt and is the author of the book The Mechanics of Ancient Egyptian Magical Practice, and over 100 publications on Egyptian religion, magic, medicine, language and literature, as well as social and political history. He has lectured extensively on each of these topics throughout the United States, Europe and Egypt. In association with The Field Museum of Chicago, Dr. Ritner was the academic advisor to two recent British Museum exhibits “Cleopatra of Egypt: From History to Myth,” and “Eternal Egypt,” and he has served as consultant and lecturer for the travelling Cairo Museum exhibit “Quest for Immortality: Treasures of Ancient Egypt.”http://nelc.uchicago.edu/faculty/ritner
Why do I care about Robert Ritner's credentials? Because he has this to say about the Book of Abraham: Now, for the first time, the surviving papyri have been translated into English in their entirety. In analyzing and translating the ancient texts, Robert K. Ritner, foremost American scholar of Egyptology, has determined that they were prepared for deceased men and women in Thebes during the Greco-Roman period. They have nothing to do with Abraham, Joseph, or a planet called Kolob, as Smith had claimed. http://signaturebooks.com/2012/02/scholar-says-mormon-scripture-not-an-egyptian-translation/
He also has this to say, "“Except for those willfully blind,” writes Professor Ritner of the University of Chicago’s Oriental Institute, “the case is closed.” In his new book, The Joseph Smith Egyptian Papyri: A Complete Edition, he also accuses two scholars of Egyptology at Mormon-owned Brigham Young University of borrowing and distorting his own writings in trying to defend Smith’s interpretations as authentically translated Egyptian." http://signaturebooks.com/2012/02/scholar-says-mormon-scripture-not-an-egyptian-translation/
So it remains, if the Book of Abraham is not a translation from Joseph Smith, then how can he possibly be a prophet of god?
Monday, February 6, 2012
Why They Leave?
'You are so angry'
'You are so hateful'
'You will only be happy again when you come back to church'
'You are unhappy because you are sinning'
'You will only be at peace when you leave your sinful life behind and begin attending church again'
'Tithing has natural consequences if you don't pay to the church'
These are all things I have been told when I stopped attending the mormon church. I fundamentally reject all of them. I have never been happier or more at peace since leaving. I have told many people,
'Good things happen to good people; bad things happen to bad people.
Bad things happen to bad people; bad things happen to good people.
This isn't religion, this is life.'
When I stopped paying tithing, I was so afraid that god was going to reach out and punish me. That didn't happen. I went from working a minimum waged job-part-time job, to a full time job, to a full time job with benefits. I have been able to support my children. Why? Because I worked damn hard and took extra classes to supplement my education. That is life. God had nothing to do with it. Neither did paying or not paying tithing.
It is easy for people who live their lives by certain values to then judge everyone by those same values. People who pay tithing have been told all their lives that if they pay, they will be blessed. Yet, statistics show that those same people are no more financially well off than those who don't pay tithing. Also, there are more filings for bankruptcies in the state of Utah than any other state. http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon356.htm
I was told my entire life as a mormon that those who leave, do so for only a few reasons: 'You want to sin'; 'You have been offended'; 'You are too lazy to walk the straight and narrow path'.
There is a new survey that shows these assumptions to be false:
http://whymormonsleave.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/WhyTheyLeave_30Jan2012v4.pdf
Here is an excerpt:
Reasons why People Lose Faith
If you no longer believe that the LDS church is the true church (and once
did), which of the following were factors in your loss of belief:
Moderate to Strong Factor Primary Factor
I lost faith in Joseph Smith 81% 39%
I studied church history and lost my belief 84% 39%
I ceased to believe in the church's doctrine/theology 87% 38%
I lost faith in the Book of Mormon 79% 35%
I re-evaluted what it means to believe/know, and realized
that I never really believed. 52% 18%
I lost confidence in the general authorities 71% 18%
Church's stance on homosexuals / Prop 8 68% 15%
I did not feel spiritually edified at church 67% 15%
Church's stance on women 70% 14%
I became bothered by church culture
(e.g. conservative politics, etc.) 57% 11%
I lost my faith in God 39% 11%
Church's stance on science-related matters 64% 9%
I lost my faith in Jesus 39% 8%
I lost confidence in my local church leadership 41% 8%
Church's stance on race issues (blacks, native
Americans, etc.) 72% 7%
I did not receive the promised spiritual witness 37% 6%
I received a spiritual witness to leave the church and go
elsewhere 18% 5%
I or someone I loved was abused by someone in the church.12% 3%
I wanted to engage in behaviors viewed as sinful by the
church (e.g. alcohol, extra-marital sex)
8% 1%
I was offended by someone in the church. 8% 1%
Lack of meaningful friendships within the church 13% 1%
'You are so hateful'
'You will only be happy again when you come back to church'
'You are unhappy because you are sinning'
'You will only be at peace when you leave your sinful life behind and begin attending church again'
'Tithing has natural consequences if you don't pay to the church'
These are all things I have been told when I stopped attending the mormon church. I fundamentally reject all of them. I have never been happier or more at peace since leaving. I have told many people,
'Good things happen to good people; bad things happen to bad people.
Bad things happen to bad people; bad things happen to good people.
This isn't religion, this is life.'
When I stopped paying tithing, I was so afraid that god was going to reach out and punish me. That didn't happen. I went from working a minimum waged job-part-time job, to a full time job, to a full time job with benefits. I have been able to support my children. Why? Because I worked damn hard and took extra classes to supplement my education. That is life. God had nothing to do with it. Neither did paying or not paying tithing.
It is easy for people who live their lives by certain values to then judge everyone by those same values. People who pay tithing have been told all their lives that if they pay, they will be blessed. Yet, statistics show that those same people are no more financially well off than those who don't pay tithing. Also, there are more filings for bankruptcies in the state of Utah than any other state. http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon356.htm
I was told my entire life as a mormon that those who leave, do so for only a few reasons: 'You want to sin'; 'You have been offended'; 'You are too lazy to walk the straight and narrow path'.
There is a new survey that shows these assumptions to be false:
http://whymormonsleave.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/WhyTheyLeave_30Jan2012v4.pdf
Here is an excerpt:
Reasons why People Lose Faith
If you no longer believe that the LDS church is the true church (and once
did), which of the following were factors in your loss of belief:
Moderate to Strong Factor Primary Factor
I lost faith in Joseph Smith 81% 39%
I studied church history and lost my belief 84% 39%
I ceased to believe in the church's doctrine/theology 87% 38%
I lost faith in the Book of Mormon 79% 35%
I re-evaluted what it means to believe/know, and realized
that I never really believed. 52% 18%
I lost confidence in the general authorities 71% 18%
Church's stance on homosexuals / Prop 8 68% 15%
I did not feel spiritually edified at church 67% 15%
Church's stance on women 70% 14%
I became bothered by church culture
(e.g. conservative politics, etc.) 57% 11%
I lost my faith in God 39% 11%
Church's stance on science-related matters 64% 9%
I lost my faith in Jesus 39% 8%
I lost confidence in my local church leadership 41% 8%
Church's stance on race issues (blacks, native
Americans, etc.) 72% 7%
I did not receive the promised spiritual witness 37% 6%
I received a spiritual witness to leave the church and go
elsewhere 18% 5%
I or someone I loved was abused by someone in the church.12% 3%
I wanted to engage in behaviors viewed as sinful by the
church (e.g. alcohol, extra-marital sex)
8% 1%
I was offended by someone in the church. 8% 1%
Lack of meaningful friendships within the church 13% 1%
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