How to communicate; lesson I
When they ask a question, give an answer or ask a question if unsure of what is asked.
When they make a statement, listen.
When they give an opinion, respect it.
When they cry, act upset, nervous, ask questions to discover why.
When a problem arises, look for solutions.
How to create barriers, lesson I
When they ask a question, demand what they are asking or tell them they are wrong for asking a stupid question or call them names.
When they make a statement, tell them they are wrong for making such a stupid or erroneous statement, roll your eyes.
When they give an opinion, show contempt for their opinion and demean it, walk away, show disgust.
When they cry, act upset, nervous; fold your arms, turn your head away, cross your legs, walk out on them.
When a problem arises, show anger for your partner and let them know that the problem is theirs alone to solve or blame them.
If you want to assure a divorce, the best way is negative communication styles: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-hughes/why-do-happy-newlyweds-ev_b_1269205.html?ref=divorce
Here is the best quote from the article: "Although there were no differences in the degree of positive communication, there were notable differences in negative communication patterns. Couples who eventually divorced displayed more anger and contempt for their partners. When solving problems, they were more likely to disagree, and blame and invalidate the feelings of each other."
This was the single most defining moments in what led to my divorce. I was tired of being marginalized, walked out on, being told that every problem was mine alone to be solved, and that my emotions didn't count.