Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Not Good for Women ~ Part VI

The Blame Game
My house was recently broken into.  The sad part is that my daughter left for school that morning and forgot to lock the front door.  The teens had easy access, they just turned the handle and wahla, there goes my camera, the Wii, my computer and a few other things.

Who is to blame for this violation? My daughter for leaving the door unlocked or the teens for violating my rights to own and keep my property safe from intrusion?

What about a woman who is raped? Is she to blame? My other daughter participated in the Slut Walk this summer. The purpose of this is to bring awareness to what causes rape.  She carried a sign that said, "Sluts don't cause rape, rapists do".  The women who participated are hoping to change people's attitudes and bring awareness to this age-old problem, that it is the perpetrator and not the victim who is to blame.

I was raped many years ago.  I was taught that it was the woman's responsibility for the rape.  She either dressed provocatively, didn't protest loud enough or somehow enticed the guy. Here is a quote from the book, Miracle of Forgiveness, “Also far-reaching is the effect of loss of chastity. Once given or taken or stolen it can never be regained. Even in a forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has not cooperated and contributed to the foul deed, she is of course in a more favorable position. There is no condemnation when there is no voluntary participation. It is better to die in defending one’s virtue than to live having lost it without a struggle.”

-    Prophet Spencer W. Kimball, LDS Prophet, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 196

And this quote from David O. McKay,  “President David O. McKay has pleaded:
    Your virtue is worth more than your life. Please, young folk, preserve your virtue even if you lose your lives.” 

Or this:  “I know what my mother expects. I know what she’s saying in her prayers. She’d rather have me come home dead than unclean.”

-    Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley, Conference Report, April 1969, pp. 52-53 

Do I wish I were dead? How stupid is that to even ask. I love life, I love my life, I'm so happy to be alive.

I am over the rape. I am over blaming myself for it.
Men are responsible for their own thoughts; women are not responsible for what men think.

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