Monday, January 21, 2013

No Change Will Happen...

After I walked away from my marriage, I went to therapy, I needed to know what I did wrong in my marriage and I needed to know how to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. In the last session, I told the counselor I was afraid to date, I didn't want to date the same type of man. He told me to ask the men what was their ownership in the failure of their relationship. If they could own part of the problem, then I could date them. If all they did was blame their ex's, they viewed themselves as victims, and when problems would arise in our relationship, they would blame me instead of being a companion in looking to coming up with a solution, compromising and looking for a win-win.

I have discovered that it has been very difficult in finding men who do not view themselves as victims. It is easy to blame the other person instead of taking ownership over problems.  As I have looked at the women who view themselves as feminists within the Mormon religion, I see much of the same victimization.

They want change, they blame the church for not embracing it, yet, all they do is complain and accept the situation they are in.  They take no ownership of their part of the problem.  They pay tithing to an organization that subjugates them, does not allow them equality or equal access to callings or money.

Why would an organization change when they are given tithing dollars each month as well as bodies in the pews that silently tell them by their presence they are going to continue to tolerate the abuse?

The women continue to serve the church through accepting the callings that allow the church to function.  What if all the women sent the men to church with children to keep quiet on their own? What if all the women stopped teaching Primary, nursery, Sunday School?  What if all the women stopped paying tithing?

Why does the church not change? Because it doesn't have a reason to.
As long as the women gripe and continue to support the church through serving and attending and paying, the church will continue as it always has.

Victims get out of it what they want; attention without any real effort to change.
If you want real change women, leave.
If you want to just complain, you are just a victim.

1 comment:

Denise said...

Once again you are spot on.