We all have contradictions in our behavior. We may say we value dependability yet we will be perpetually late to appointments, making people wait on us. Or we may say we desire fidelity and monogamy, yet we may seek out multiple sex partners. We may say we love someone, yet not spend time with them, call them, emotionally connect with them.
Do we do these things because we are complete a@#holes, or because we truly want what we say, but we also desire the opposite, the proverbial, 'having their cake and eating it too'?
The phrase means that once you have eaten your cake, you cannot have it again. http://www.ask.com/wiki/Have_one's_cake_and_eat_it_too
We all have choices in this life. Often, we do not want to limit our choices for fear we will miss out on something else. Sometimes we may want to be all things to all people. We may want to fulfill all our desires. We may fear being vulnerable, so withhold a part of ourselves and instead seek shallow relationships instead of intimate ones.
Are there consequences to having your cake and eating it too? Yes. Yet, it is up to the individual to decide if the consequences are worth the choices they are making. What are they missing out on by trying to have it both ways? What deep, meaningful relationships are they passing up? Are people pulling away from them because they are not dependable? Will they be alone?
We all have contradictions. What are yours?