My Words of Wisdom

Almost one year ago, I resigned my membership in the mormon church.  I placed a lot of thought into that decision.  I knew there would be repercussions. I knew how very disappointed my family would be in me, that they would worry for my eternal soul, that they would think I am a very unhappy person. (The one thing that didn't occur to me is that they would interpret everything I do as being angry, odd.) I don't really blame them, they are taught by their church leaders from the time they are born that there is only one path to happiness, one path to heaven and that is through following their rules. If a person diverges even a little bit, they are considered bitter, unhappy, in hell.  It is very controlling and it kept me in line for years; even when I wasn't happy following those rules. Fear and guilt are very controlling, I have discovered.

When I turned my resignation letter into the bishop, he tried to turn our talk into an interview of *worthiness*.  He asked me if I was keeping the word of wisdom. I was taken back at first. I paused then asked him why would I keep something that I didn't believe in?  He didn't know how to answer that.  I wish now that I had more time to spend with him. (We were standing on his porch in zero degree weather). I wish that I could have asked him why, when it says right there in the mormon scriptures that the word of wisdom is not given as a commandment, but as advice, his church has turned it into a requirement to get a temple recommend (in order to get into the mormon heaven, a person must answer 9 questions to gain a temple recommend and attend their temple to be worthy to enter heaven. One of those questions is if they abstain from coffee, tea, tobacco and alcohol as listed in the word of wisdom).  What started out as advice is now a requirement for them to get into heaven. How did that happen? I bet he couldn't tell me.

When blinders fall off and you are able to see things clearly, it is amazing how obvious things are.  Even when I would study the word of wisdom, so much didn't make sense. Why does it say to eat meat sparingly, yet it isn't enforced within the church? Why is it okay to be obese in the church and not eat in moderation?  Why does it say to eat food in season, yet this isn't followed and is out of date since we have transportation that provides for fruits and vegetables to be provided year round?  Where does it say cola drinks are part of the word of wisdom yet so many are forbidden from drinking them?

None of this makes sense because it is nonsensical.  As most things mormon, it evolved over time, not because of inspiration, but because of the dictates of man (IMO). Too bad they don't listen to the scientific research on wine and tea and coffee.

http://www.mormonthink.com/wow.htm

Don't know everything

I don't know everything.

 I learned this a long time ago, this is why I make lots and lots of links to my blog, because other people are able to say things better than I do.  Because other people think differently than I do.

I learned a long time ago that I can learn a lot from other people.

I support gays to have the same rights I do. Why? This is why:http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/how-gay-rights-is-nothing-like-legalizing-beastali

Why I won't go back

To all those who have asked me to come back in the last year; I can't say it any better than this:

http://packham.n4m.org/q-and-a.htm

or this:

http://packham.n4m.org/covenant.htm

If Only

If only one could find peace in the mormon religion.
If only one could do all that was asked of one to reach the mormon heaven.
If only one could find happiness in the mormon church.

If only:
http://www.afterallwecando.com/

Gas lighting

I have been told recently that I must be full of anger and not a happy person because I write this blog. I write this blog, not because I live in the past and dwell on past hurts, but because I want to reach out to other women who may be in the same situation I was in. If I can help them find a way out and find the happiness I have found, I feel a duty to reach out to them.

I had been writing this blog for a while when I was sent a private message by someone who told me how much my blog had helped them.  If there is even one person I can reach, it is enough motivation to keep writing.

When I was married, I wanted the husband to call me once a day. He refused; when I tried to talk to him about it, he marginalized me, saying I was too emotional, too sensitive, too demanding of him.  When I asked him why he was an hour late coming home and hadn't called, he told me I was too emotional to discuss it with me.

It was always me being crazy and not his poor behavior that needed to change. I love, love, love this article; mostly because it is written by a man calling men on their bad behavior; Gas lighting.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/why-women-arent-crazy/

It is time that women be treated the same and fairly with men. When I write, I do not write because I am emotional or angry or unhappy. I write to educate and help people evolve into better human beings.

Buck it up, people.

Worth

I am worthy of love.

Struggle

STRUGGLE... that is what my marriage was; a daily struggle.

I wanted to be alive; to live each day with joy, meaning and activity.  He wanted to stay in a dream world, a world that was not real, a subconscious state, not reality.  The world I wanted consisted of adventure and fun and living each day to its fullest.  His day consisted of creating computers and sitting and dreaming.

He even said to me when we were at the end. He said, 'My perception is my reality'. No, your perception is where you choose to stay and delude yourself, but it doesn't change reality.  I choose to live in reality and love life.

We struggled against each other each day for 20 years; me, to live a full, rich life; him, to live in a dream state.